Posts Tagged ‘women’

CLAUDE Play Packs now distributed at Max Black!

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

Max Black and Claude have joined forces to bring free kinky play packs directly to women who play with other women. Is that you? Next time you visit Max Black you can pick one up!

Max Black is stocked with play packs which have lube, condoms, gloves, cleaning product for toys and surfaces and of course no kit would be complete without some info about safe sex, looking after yourself, your partners and your toys. Blood play packs are also available with the same contents as the above kit and also a sharps disposal bin, alcohol swabs, needle tips, cotton wool balls and of course we’d never distribute this kind of stuff without some information about how to keep yourself safe and free from blood borne viruses.

If you can’t make it in to Max Black but you’re a woman from NSW you can order your free play pack on the Claude website (www.iloveclaude.com). While you’re there check out the badass site which celebrates women into kink, defiance, art and sex.

Claude is pumped full of all the good stuff – music, bravery, health info, free stuff, videos, interviews and everything that sits on the edge. One more thrust and Claude would burst!

Jacqueline Hellyer: Female Bodies Are Sexual Pleasure Machines

Friday, March 9th, 2012
[DISCLAIMER: MaXXX Black recommends finding a sex therapist or counsellor that suits your needs, relationships and lifestyle. The views expressed by members of our Community Newtwork do not necessarily reflect the opinions of MaXXX Black]

The human body is a sexual pleasure machine, and the female body even more so than the male.
That may seem surprising if your concept of someone’s ‘level of sexuality’ is determined by their ‘level of libido’. We’re rather too libido-oriented in this society. The general belief is that sex is a response to feeling horny. Along with that belief comes the implicit assumption that the hornier you feel, the better sex will be.

Since women have bought into this model and believe that they should be horny before they have sex, given that women’s sexuality isn’t the ‘gagging-for-it’ type: they tend to give up, they don’t do what it takes to get in the mood, generally thinking that there’s something wrong with them (if they’ve got low self-esteem) or claiming they’re ‘normal’, declaring that ‘women don’t like sex’ and their parter is ‘sex-crazed’ (if they’re more assertive).
It’s true that women tend to have libidos like men. Women’s sexuality is not hormonally driven, it’s contextual. It depends so much on how a woman is feeling and what’s going on for, that determnes if she’s open and receptive to sex, not necessarily ‘horny’.

Once a women allows herself to get into the mood, and approaches sex in a more female-friendly way (ie not trying to be like a man) – wow, the places she can go! Because when it comes to the response side of sex (as opposed to the desire side) – well, women are far more superior then men!

Women can have orgasms that are more intense, more frequent and last longer than men’s. On top of the standard clitoral orgasm, which is similar in physiology and feel to the male ejaculatory orgasm, women can have orgasms through vaginal stimulation, g-spot (actually the urethral sponge) stimulation, AFE-spot stimulation, cervical stimulation, anal stimulation, nipple stimulation, in fact, from virtually any part of their body, and even without physical touch (either by being in the presence of a man who’s very present in his masculinity, or by bringing yourself to orgasm through breath and visualisation). Women can have multiple orgasms, wet orgasms (more commonly known by the dreadful male-centric term: female ejaculation), full body orgasms, and can stay in ecstatic states of arousal for very long periods of time.

Unfortuantely, most people don’t even realise what women’s sexual potential is. After a few decades of wondering why women are so sexual dysfunctional because they don’t function sexually like men, Western scientific research is only now starting to acknowledge that women’s sexuality is different. But it’s still way off realising just how wonderfully different women’s sexuality is.

Fortunately some people (like me!) are exploring beyond the boring limits of conventional models of sex in the West, taking on board the wisdom of older sexual traditions, such as the Tantric and Taoist, and doing a lot of personal research: I know all this is possible because I experience it.

When women realise it’s possible, they can start to experience it. When women have sexual responses like this, when they go to heaven, they take their man their with them. There is nothing a man likes more than to give his women this level of sexual pleasure. It satisfies him to his very core. It makes him feel like a Real Man. He may not be able to experience the level of feeling that she can, but he can feel fantastic for getting her there.

Female sexual response is extraordinary. It takes a while to get there, but like all good things, it takes time. The more time and attention you pay to something, generally the better the outcome.

Throw away the limiting beliefs, expand your possibilities to so much more – open yourself up to your glorious potential!

To learn more about becoming more fully into your feminine and being able to soften and open up in this way, I recommend you attend my Tantra Fusion workshops.

Or book in for private Tantra instruction and sex therapy.

The Sex Coach: Communicate – Human’s Can’t Read Minds!

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

There is nothing more fundamental to a good relationship, and therefore to a good sex life, than communication. It is absolutely, categorically, completely and utterly vital (have I stressed this enough).

It would be nice to think that after years together you might have developed an ‘unspoken understanding’, but don’t count on it. The number of times I’ve heard women complain about their husbands, and when I ask them: “Have you told him?”, the answer is along the lines of: “No/There’s no point/He should know” and so forth.

Unfortunately, it’s a sad fact but true: humans are not mind-readers, you do actually have to speak to each other. And that also means listening to each other. And clarifying that this speaking and listening has in fact resulted in mutual understanding.

Communication is an art. So practise.

Speak
Humans aren’t mind-readers. We do actually have to speak to each other to communicate what we feel and want. Of course body language and gesture are elements of communication too. But it’s actually the faculty of speech that has enabled us to come down out of the trees and become such a successful species. It was speech that enabled early humans to cooperate and progress. It’s still just as important in modern society, particularly in the most fundamental human grouping of all, the family.

You can’t just ‘expect’ your partner to know what you want. Even if you think they should (that dreaded word again). Just because something is blindingly obvious to you, doesn’t mean it’s blindingly obvious to your partner. You can’t assume anything. You have to speak so you are both clear about what’s going on. Whether it’s logistical matters or something more emotional, you must speak. Silence does not achieve anything.

But neither does nastiness. You do actually want your partner to listen to what you say, and they’re not going to if you’re sarcastic and condescending, if you appear to be blaming them, or if are judging them and finding them wanting. At best they’ll just tune out and ignore you; at worst they will become defensive, and once the listener becomes defensive, you’ve lost them. You might even have a full-scale fight on your hands.

It doesn’t matter how correct or right your content is, if it’s presented in a negative tone, your partner will respond to the tone rather than the content. And that is not going to get you the result you want.

You have to speak respectfully to each other. I don’t mean formally, I simply mean: appreciating the other person’s point of view, respecting that none of us is perfect, that we may not be making ourselves clear despite our best intentions, and that the listener is not ‘wrong’. Speak clearly, factually and honestly. And keep it light, practice using humour to get your point across. Gentle, light-hearted ribbing is much more effective than outright criticism:
“Darling, I appreciate the fact that you admire me so much you think I can read your mind, but I am a mere mortal, and really need you to write it down if we’ve run out of tomato sauce.” (said with a smile, not with sarcasm), is much more effective than:
“How the hell am I supposed to know we’ve run out of tomato sauce if you don’t tell me!”

What you say is one part of the communication process, and of course it’s a very important part. But it’s what they understand that counts. So even if you think you have been clear and succinct and got your message across well, you still have to make sure your partner understands what you’re saying. So much misunderstanding occurs when one person thinks they understand what the other is saying, but doesn’t. And then blame starts happening – “I told you” and “No, you didn’t, you said”, “No I didn’t, you weren’t listening…”, etc, etc. Well, chances are you did say and your partner was listening, but for whatever reason, mutual understanding didn’t occur. So check to make sure.

Listen
Listening is obviously just as important as speaking, and the skill is similar. Listen without judgement, with respect for the other person’s feelings and opinions.

And if your partner is bringing up something about you, make sure you don’t immediately become defensive. If there’s something that’s troubling your partner, listen carefully and objectively, even if their trouble is you, so that you can understand their issue and that way do something about it.

And even if they’re not doing a very good job of communicating, if they do seem to be blaming you, or if they’re being cutting and sarcastic, there’s no need for you to take it personally (hard as that may be). Do try to stay calm and objective so that you can get to the heart of the issue, rather than letting it get emotional and escalate out of hand.

Sometimes your partner will just want to let off a bit of steam, to express how they’re feeling. You don’t necessarily have to solve the problem, sometimes just sympathetic listening is enough. But if a solution is required, then work towards it.

And be sure that you have understood what they’re saying by repeating back what you think they’re conveying. Don’t assume you understand what they’re saying even if you’ve listened well. Some things are difficult to convey, and some people just aren’t very good at expressing themselves.

NEW: The Ultimate Guide To Orgasms For Women

Thursday, September 8th, 2011

Every now and again a book arrives at MB and takes our breath away – The Ultimate Guide To Orgasms For Women by Mikaya Heart did that….and more!

This fantastic volume takes the ‘ultimate guide’ series and turns it on its head – it’s not just about the physical, it’s also about the energetic, the spiritual, the emotional, your relationships and what works, what doesn’t – and why!

Mikaya Heart talks about womens’ experiences in a genuine and engaging way that is easy to relate to and even better to learn from. Her holistic approach makes it genuinely empowering and our reviewers have all said that it can make a positive impact on you within just the first 20 pages!

All of our staff here are madly reading this book – it has become one the MaXXX Black ‘bibles’.

We believe this is an essential read for all women (and those who love them). We’ll be posting a full review soon and you can read more about the book by visiting the webstore HERE.

There’s also a strong possibility of Mikaya holdinga couple of VIP workshops right here in Sydney in December 2011. If you’re interested in taking part, please drop us a line via info@maxxxblack.com with your email phone and name details.

The Sex Coach: Fire & Water – Masculine & Feminine Sexual Energies

Saturday, June 11th, 2011

The masculine sexual energy is like fire: it comes on quickly, burns brightly and extinguishes quickly.

The feminine sexual energy is like water: it’s slow to heat up, but once it’s boiling it will boil and boil and boil and boil…

So if we divide sex into two phases, desire and response, then the masculine has more energy in the desire phase and the feminine has more energy in the response phase.

This is why men generally tend to have a stronger libido, and why women have a greater range and intensity of arousal and orgasmic response.

Ideally in the sexual act, the man will use his fire energy to heat up the woman’s water energy. She’ll reach heights of arousal and ecstasy that will make him feel absolutely fantastic because he’s the one who got her there. He’ll probably have an orgasm too, but his satisfaction is primarily in the pleasure he’s given her. The release of all her sexual energy satisfies and nourishes him completely. In this way the sexual circuit is complete and sex is a wonderfully fulfilling, healing, liberating and bonding experience for both of them.

We do have both masculine and feminine energies within us and a well-rounded person will have a reasonably good balance within them. There are also some people whose energy is more the opposite than their own gender. But for most people men tend to have a fire-like sexual energy and women tend to have a water-like sexual energy.

This is why men’s libido can suddenly arise out of nowhere. He can get an erection with very little or no stimulation, he just feels horny. This is the fire energy that simply ‘switches on’. Given that a man’s body is more testosterone driven, this makes sense.

Whereas it’s pretty rare for a woman to suddenly feel horny out of the blue. Women don’t go “oh gosh, I’m lubricating, I must want sex.” Rather, a woman’s desire is contextual, it depends on how she’s feeling, how she’s getting on with her partner if she has one, what kind of environment she’s in. All these factors will affect the temperature of her water energy.

As I wrote recently, when a woman has a high libido, it’s not because she has a masculine fire energy, it’s because she keeps her water energy simmering. She lives in a way that makes her feel good about herself, she avoids getting too tired, and together with her partner they actively work on keeping their connection strong and making the time and place for sex. This is what keeps a women’s water energy warm. The warmer her water energy is on a day to day basis, the more open and receptive to sex she is. The colder her water energy is, the more effort is required to heat it, and some women have sexual energy that is frozen hard, tundra even!
It does work both
ways. There are plenty of men who find that their fire energy isn’t igniting, and there are many reasons for this, which I will write about separately.

When two people come together as lovers, whether it’s for a brief encounter or a lifetime, when her water energy is good and warm and his fire energy is switching on efficiently, then there’s a meeting between them. His desire is neither too needy nor too apathetic and her interest is neither too conditional nor too stifling. Rather, there’s an easy balance and fluidity between his desire and her openness to meet him, which takes them both to wonderful places.

The Sex Coach: High Libido Women

Tuesday, June 7th, 2011

As I’ve described before, the masculine sexual energy is like fire, it comes on quickly, burns brightly and extinguishes quickly. The feminine sexual energy is like water: it takes longer to warm up, but once it’s hot it will boil and boil and boil.

The warmer the woman’s water energy is, the more open and ready she is for sex. If she enters the sex act with icy cold water energy, even frozen, then it’s going to take an awful lot of work to warm it up. She’ll either be averse to having sex or it will take so long to heat her up that one or both of them will give up before she gets anywhere.

So the common scenario of a busy modern couple, hard at work all day, occupied with kids/housework/work brought home/etc in the evening &/or vedging out in front of the TV for hours watching people being murdered and cut up on mortuary tables, getting into bed late at night and then thinking about sex…. Well, it’s not surprising that she’s not interested, her water energy is stone cold. (In fact, this scenario also causes many men to be unable to ignite their fire energy, but that’s another story.)

My feeling is that when women have high libidos, it’s not because they have a masculine fire energy, it’s because they keep their water energy simmering. (Although there are some people who have predominantly the opposite sexual energy.) What ‘keeping her water energy simmering’ means is that a woman and her partner do things to keep her open and receptive to sex.

Too many people think that a woman’s libido should be like a man’s. They feel that desire should somehow just descend upon her and she’ll be ready and gagging for it. But women are not like men, women’s sexuality complements men’s sexuality. Equal but different. The two work together to create something new and wonderful.

In the early days of a relationship women do generally feel more desirous. This is simply because all the conditions are there to keep her water energy on the boil! There’s so much anticipation, always thinking about her man, he’s on his best behaviour, treating her well, they pay attention to the way they look, what they say, what they do.

But as time passes, they get complacent. There’s no anticipation, there’s no going out of their way to make themselves special to the other. The masculine fire energy might continue to work under those conditions, but it’s rare that the feminine water energy will.

A woman’s desire is contextual, it’s not simply a biological urge. It depends enormously on how she fees and what’s going on around her.

What a woman needs to ‘keep her water simmering’ is fourfold:

– She can’t be too tired, tiredness kills a woman’s ability to get in the mood;
– She needs to be a pleasant environment, somewhere that makes her feel warm, safe and sensual;
– She needs to be feeling good about herself, attractive and desirable; and
– She needs to be getting on well with her partner.

Some of these elements she can focus on herself, and others depend on the interaction between her and her partner.

The good news is that it’s a positive feedback loop – the more these four elements are improved, the better the sexual desire and the better the sexual response, and therefore the more life improves and the sex improves!

Four Ways To Give Her Bigger Orgasms

Saturday, April 2nd, 2011

Her body is amazing.

It’s a finely orchestrated collection of systems working in tandem. Her clitoris is an assembly of nerves, so vast and deeply imbedded into her pelvis that we call it the clitoral complex. Her lips and vulva tissue become engorged with touch and thought. She has erectile tissue, glandular tissue and blood vessels all chiming in as she becomes aroused. Her G spot is near the opening of her vagina, on the navel side of her vaginal canal. At her perineum, the bit of connective flesh between her vagina and sphincter, you find a wealth of responsiveness. It is packed with more erectile tissue but is also a direct connection to the eight muscles that form her pelvic platform. Those muscles are the massive force behind every orgasm she experiences.

Like I said, her body is lush.

Each woman will have a unique response to your touch and her response may change over time as she explores her body and goes through natural life cycles.  Here are four techniques for getting the most out of her body.

1) Slow Your Roll
Our brains are naturally wired to find the fastest way to get things done. When it comes to her orgasm however, it’s important that you fight that urge and slow down. Because the bulk of a woman’s responsive tissue is inside her body and not easy to manually stimulate, it takes longer for her (compared to the male body) to become fully sexually excited. Her mind may be ready, but her body needs more. The average woman requires 20 minutes of stimulation before her tissue (erectile, glandular and vascular) is fully engorged. Most often couples will jump into intercourse before her body is really ready for that kind of play, making it difficult for her to reach orgasm from penetration alone.

You want to tease and flirt until she is just about begging for more. Try adding more kissing, heavy petting, and stimulating her through her clothing. Add more hands, mouth and toys into your play. Using a vibrating toy on her clit, vulva and perineum will deliver deep tissue stimulation and will definitely speed up this process. Use lube so that her inner and outer skin can stand up to the extended play.

2) Tell Her
Through out her entire life, she has been receiving subtle negative messages about her body and her sexuality. She may have heard people say women smell bad, or that only certain “types” of girls perform particular sex acts, or countless other judgments on the appearance of the female body. As her partner, it’s important that you tell her what you love about her body. You are probably the only person to ever tell her how beautiful she is during sex play. Remind her that she can let go and give into her sexual response with you.

3) Steal Her Moves
Encourage her to touch herself.

Some woman feel very shy about this so it may help if you let her know it’s cool with you. If she does choose to touch herself during sex play, watch what she is doing – and steal her moves. She’s teaching you what works for her.

4) Subtle Undercurrents are Strong

Sex is full of subtleties. Most women are not going to be screaming and pounding her fists in ecstasy. Sure some women do, but many will not.

Watch her body. Let her breathing patterns, hip movements and pelvic muscular response guide you.

___

An orgasm, for a person of any gender, is a series of muscular contractions – the stronger her pelvic muscles are, the stronger her orgasm will be.  If she is pumping her muscles rhythmically during sex play she will be pulling more blood and oxygen into her entire pelvis. The deeper breaths also fuel her response.  Throughout all of your sex play, tune in to the subtleties of her body. Encourage her to pump her muscles and breathe deeply for you. There is nothing sexier than a partner who is so deeply engaged in their lover’s experience.

Happy Orgasms Everybody!

Advice: Why Do Vibrators Work So Well For Women?

Saturday, January 29th, 2011

Whether you’re a sex toy aficionado, a vibrator newbie or just plain curious it’s always empowering to improve your understanding of sexuality and the female anatomy. If you’ve ever asked yourself “why would I use a vibrator?” and wondered just how these miraculous, buzzing appliances work and why they work, you’ve probably been stumped for an answer.

The reality is, is that vibrators have traditionally been associated with women because so many learned how to orgasm (or how to orgasm more easily) by using a vibrator. The majority of women require consistent, intense clitoral stimulation in order to achieve orgasm, because that’s simply the way we’re wired. While deft fingers and a clever tongue are definitely useful in bringing women to climax, sometimes it just isn’t possible. Furthermore, it’s common knowledge that the majority of the male population enjoy visual stimuli for arousal (pornography), so why can’t women add another form of stimuli to their artillery?

Vibrators have come a long way since their inception for medicinal purposes in the late 19th century! And with a recent statistic revealing that 40% of Australian women own a vibrator, it’s no surprise that they’ve retained their popularity and that their popularity continues to grow!

So just how do vibrators work, and why?

As mentioned earlier, women climax generally through clitoral stimulation, and this stimulation needs to be fairly consistent in order to achieve orgasm.

At first glance, the clitoris may look like a little pea, hidden away under the clitoral hood (though they all vary in shapes and sizes) however, many people are surprised to discover that the clitoris actually extends internally inside women. Two strands of erectile tissue curve up inside, and become engorged when aroused (similarly to an erect penis.) The clitoris also becomes engorged and grows in size, sometimes even popping out of the hood, whilst the vulva and labia become slightly puffier and the vagina relaxes and secretes its natural lubrication.

As a general rule, vibrators work by stimulating the clitoris externally (and internally) as its vibrations travel and resonate through the body, providing pleasurable, consistent sensations. Many people assume that vibrators and dildos are the same thing, but while dildos can only be used internally (and don’t vibrate), vibrators can work internally and externally and they do, of course, vibrate.

Many women also find that they purchase a large, realistic looking vibrator because it would appear to emulate the experience of penetrative sex, but discover with a little care and play, that it’s actually more pleasurable to hold that toy externally, on the clitoris, in order to achieve orgasm.

This is why some vibrators are small and egg shaped, why some come in small bullet sizes, why some come with a shaft and tickler (for internal and external stimulation) and why some are curved for g-spot stimulation.

There’s a huge range of different styles available out there, and we’re lucky to be able to experiment and find out what works for us!

Of course, a vibrator can never substitute a human touch, but it can enhance solo and couples play and help to improve ones self esteem through healthy self exploration and empowerment!

Jacqueline Hellyer: Are Humans Monogamous – and if not, what does that mean?

Tuesday, January 11th, 2011

So carrying on from my previous two posts showing that the old myths of men being naturally promiscuous to sow their seed, and women being monogamous because it’s ‘natural’ for a woman to be less sexual, have no basis in fact.

The former because it is a misuse of evolutionary theory, and the latter because it is based on historical suppression of women’s sexuality not their biological reality.

So what is real – are humans monogamous or not? Is monogamy a natural state that all humans gravitate to, or is it a social norm superimposed upon a different biological basis?

Well, it seems that monogamy is not biologically-based, it’s socially based. I can’t go into great depth in a blog post, so I recommend you read the brilliant new book “Sex At Dawn” by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. It’s a thoroughly researched and very entertaining read. They look at our biology, at prehistoric remains, at our closest ape relatives, at existing and recent hunter-gatherer societies, and present a very plausible argument that we haven’t evolved to be monogamous, that the concept of ‘possessing’ a partner exclusively is a social development, not a biological one.

This is certainly a view that I had come to based on my own research and observations, clinical and personal; so it’s good to see it reinforced by academics who have done the proper analytical research.

So if we’re not naturally monogamous, what does that mean for us – that we should all start hanging out at swingers clubs and inviting the neighbours over for a “casual drink’?

Of course not. I’m not talking about going from one extreme to another! What I am saying is that we need to take the issue seriously, not cover it up with fear or power-based morality and narrow-mindedness.

These days we do plenty of things that we weren’t evolved for (such as sitting in front of a computer writing a blog post). But if we go too much against our innate selves, if we start fighting our selves, then we’re in for trouble. To use the computer example I just gave, our bodies have evolved to be active, and overly sedentary people risk obesity, heart disease, diabetes, etc.

So if we aren’t naturally monogamous, forcing ourselves to be monogamous is not going to work. In the past it was avoided by repressing women’s sexuality so severely that it was barely possible to be non-monogamous. But now that women don’t get stoned, or burnt or locked up in mental institutions for being sexual, and now that women aren’t forced to stay in relationships for the sake of economic necessity, what do we find – around 50% of relationships involve infidelity (of which women contribute as much as men), and many many people practice serial monogamy, so while they might not overlap their lovers they certainly do have more than one.

I have come to think that as with so many other aspects of sexually, we’re all on a continuum of monogamy, with some people being completely monogamous and others being completely non-monogamous, and most of us somewhere in-between.

By David Barash & Judith Lipton

There are people who do manage to have consensual non-monogamous relationships, and that’s fine when it’s done openly, honestly and with continual reflection. It’s challenging (all relationships are challenging), but it is possible. I’ll write more about the different kinds of consensual non-monogamous relationships, and how such relationships can be negotiated, in a later blog.

If you do prefer to be monogamous though, then we have to recognise that it’s not easy to be exclusive with the same person for years on end and have a satisfactory love life with that one person. It is possible though.

Some key points I believe we all need to take on board, whatever our preferred type of relationship is, are:

– Be less judgmental of self and others around relationship preferences and inclinations;

– Be more open-minded about relationship possibilities, if not for yourself, then at least with others, not everyone has to be the same as you;

– Realise that becoming more aware of your own sexuality, and therefore more open, honest and real about yourself, is a very good thing for yourself and for your relationship(s);

– Be more focused on creating an on-going good sex life that includes diversity and novelty.

I would love to see our society develop in a way that is more inclusive of different kinds of sexuality, including varieties of sexual relating. We’ve had a long struggle, which still exists, to open our minds to homosexuality. Now we need to open up to other aspects of sexuality, such as non-monogamy.

Essentially it’s about being real and honest and non-judgmental.

Sounds reasonable, but it’s such a big ask in this society, especially when it’s to do with sexuality.

Still, I live and work in hope…

Love,

Jacqueline

Jacqueline Hellyer: Women Are Not Naturally Monogomous

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010

Following on from the last blog post, where I debunked the myth that men are naturally promiscuous due to their need to spread their seed far and wide, I’d now like to examine the widely held myth that women are not naturally promiscuous. (I suppose because prehistorically we were so busy looking after those babies that those men randomly left behind as they wandered around spreading their seed – a recipe for reproductive success? Not!)

Now let’s look at a few biological facts here:

– women are able to have sex at any time
– women are more sexually responsive than men (more orgasms both in quantity, variety and quality).
– women can last sexually far longer than men
– women lose interest in sex more easily than men
– women generally need evidence of positive male interest and attention to want to have sex
– women have a less physical ‘urge’ for sex, rather a more contextual interest in sex
– women’s interest in sex sparks up with a new sex/love interest

These are biological facts. They do nothing to imply that women are less sexual than men. In fact they imply that women could well be more sexual than men. These facts do not imply that women are naturally monogamous, in fact they could be interpreted as showing that women need more than one man to be sexually satisfied.

Now, let’s look at some historical facts:

– for the past couple of thousand years or so girls in the west have been raised to think that they’re not sexual and shouldn’t be sexual
– girls and women who were overtly sexual have been discriminated against, burnt at the stake, cast out from society, forced to wear shaming badges, excommunicated, locked up in mental institutions – need I go on?
– Until the last few decades, women have been dependent on men for their economic security, without a man it has been very difficult for a woman to survive
– Women were considered the possessions of men, first owned by their fathers, and that ownership passed to their husbands at marriage. Women were therefore required to obey and serve first their fathers and then their husbands, otherwise they’d have no-one to support them.

Would any of these facts have allowed women to freely express their true sexual selves? Clearly, no.

So don’t confuse biological fact, with historically based social norms. Women have not been allowed to be sexually expressively, particularly not sexually promiscuous. That doesn’t mean it’s not innate. The biological facts would imply otherwise.

I’m not saying women should be promiscuous, or even that it’s natural for women to be promiscuous. I’m simply saying that there is no evidence to show that women naturally are naturally monogamous.