Posts Tagged ‘tantra’

Jacqueline Hellyer: 3rd Level Love-Making

Monday, April 23rd, 2012

Available as a podcast: download here!
There’s a wise old saying about spiritual and personal growth: first there is the mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is the mountain again.
What this means is that you have normality, then that disappears while you grow and experience the opposite, and then it comes back again as you integrate the two. But it’s not the same reality, it might look the same but the experience of it is quite different.

If we’re talking about sex and intimacy, and human sexual potential, then the process is the same.

At first we do standard sex, which generally means focusing on the physical, generally in our heads. You’ll have heard me describe this in various ways: the performance model of sex, the adolescent male masterbatory model of sex. This is level one sex, where you focus on the ‘peaks’ of sex, the ‘bigger-harder-faster’. Level one sex is about technique, sexual excitation and explosive orgasms. This is the mountain you start with.

Then you realise that this type of sex is not entirely satisfying, there has to be more. So you start to explore a deeper approach to sex. You may find that you are attracted to Tantra, with its mindful approach to love-making. You find yourselves slowing down, taking time to connect and to build eroticism. This is level two love-making. This is where you become aware of the ‘valleys’ of sex, where the sensual and subtle create feelings of ecstacy. This is where the mountain disappears, sex is not what it was.

Then the mountain reappears as you combine both the peaks and valleys of sex. But these are not the same peaks you knew before you discovered the valleys. These are peaks of sexual intensity that come with great presence and connection. You swing between the peaks of sexual intensity and the valleys of sexual bliss, in a flow of love-making that has no plan or expectation. This is stage three lovemaking, and it is truly awesome.

Would you like to learn more about second level love-making and even move on to third level one-making? Then book in to my Tantra Fusion Workshops, or have private sex therapy and/or Tantra sessions.

Jacqueline Hellyer: A History of Sexual Misinformation

Wednesday, December 28th, 2011

Why is our society so sexually screwed-up? Basically, it’s because we’ve had two to three thousand years of sexual suppression.

During these millennia two very damaging myths have been held as truths in western society:

1) That sex is a base, animalistic activity, in opposition to spiritual and ‘higher’ human endeavours; and
2) That men are innately more sexual than women.

These myths have been so strong for so long, that they are still very much part of our communal psyche. It’s only in the last few decades that society has begun to shift on these myths, which is a relatively short time compared to how long those myths have been there, so progress on change is slow.

The first myth, that sex is a base activity not a higher activity, has meant that sex has not been studied properly, has not been taught to our young people, has not been a topic of open discussion, and has not been considered a part of life that should be developed and enhanced.

This means that society’s knowledge of sex is very limited, and we are nowhere near achieving anything like our sexual potentials, nor using sex in the positive way to enhance our lives as we could.

The second myth, that men are more sexual than women, has meant that there has been an imbalance between the masculine and feminine principles in society. We’ve had a dysfunctional masculine – overly dominant and aggressive, and a dysfunctional feminine – overly weak and dependant. When the two principles are out of whack like this, there is no balance and harmony. Without a balance of equally strong masculine and feminine, the masculine goes out of control and the feminine is useless.

Sexually, this means there has not been a focus on what men and women need sexually, how they function differently yet complementarily, and how their coming together creates magic. Instead we’ve had a servile feminine sexuality serving an overly dominant masculine sexuality. Women have been expected to ‘service’ their men’s ‘needs’: the classic ‘lie back and think of England’ scenario.

When you combine those two myths, you end up with a society that has no idea about the beauty and benefits of sex; and individuals within it who have no idea of their potential and what they can do with their sexuality. You have an overly aggressive society that is full of dissatisfied people, both men and women.

Sound familiar?

For greater understanding, empowerment and connection, please attend one of my Tantra Fusion Workshops, or see me for private sessions.

Events: New Tantric Lovers Workshop For August

Sunday, August 7th, 2011

Jacqueline Hellyer, The Sex Coach, is bringing her famous Tantric Workshop back to Sydney in August 2011!

TANTRIC LOVERS, Zen and the Art of Making Love is a day of gorgeous connection, lusciousness and learning, and judging by how quickly these workshops fill up you’ll want to get your booking in as soon as possible.

This workshop focuses exclusively on the Tantric/Taoist/energetic aspects of sex and sexuality. Consider it ‘Zen and the Art of Making Love’.

Whereas Luscious Lovers is held in a luscious wine bar, Tantric Lovers is run in a luscious yoga studio.

This workshop is about deepening trust and openness, so a range of activities cover breath, feeling and moving energy in the body, sharing energy, communication between couples and connected touch.

The first Tantric Lovers workshop was run recently and was an absolutely gorgeous and moving day. To let the participants describe it in their own words (better than me telling you how wonderful it is!):

“Jacqueline has done it again! What a way to reconnect for Valentine’s Day. I’m so glad that we invested our money in this course, rather than chocolates and roses! The course helped us remember the importance of completely “being” with each other – not just physically, but on a much deeper level. We will take this into the bedroom and practice the art of real love-making, not just sex!”

“Loved it – my love life has SOOO shifted to another level….you showed me in an amazing way, how I was able to tap into a field of energy that I didn’t realize existed when it comes to lovemaking and intimacy which shifts the whole experience to another level. I am now better able to remain focused and present to the whole experience.”

“Thank you for such a unique and positive experience. It’s very refreshing to interact and see so many couples still so deeply in love after so many years. Today society puts too much focus on divorce and negativity and not enough time on teaching couples the amazing re-connecting techniques that we learnt in your wonderful workshops. We loved every minute of our Tantric Lovers experience. It was such a beautiful experience to be surrounded by so much love. Thank you for filling up our love bank!”

“Thank you very much for running the workshop. It was fabulous! It was a great day spent expressing and learning to express even deeper our love for each other. It has had a lovely positive effect on our relationship, and this boosted love has extended out to all other relationships in my life. It’s brought a spark to my life for ‘communion’.  And with the basket of golden-egg goodies (exercises) we received on the day, I feel resourced-up to explore what was previously unknown and a little intimidating. “

DETAILS:

[click for more information]

The Sex Coach: Teaching Tantra In Thailand

Sunday, May 29th, 2011

I ran a Tantra workshop last night, here on a permaculture farm in northern Thailand.

It was magical. The fact that the lights blew just as we started and we had to rely on candles added to the magic.

Twenty of us sat in a circle, alternating men and women, in the open-aired pagola which is the hub of the farm. The night was still and the candles cast a soft flickering light around the group.

To bond the group we shared yellow energy from our left ears, passing it through to the right ear of the person on our left, till the whole group was connected through our ears by this yellow energy.

We then moved into breath work. This is the basis of all energetic and spiritual work, sexual or otherwise. Bringing your breath deeper into your torso, so you’re breathing with your belly, is fundamental to linking your entire body and being able to circulate energy freely.

Then we worked our pelvic floor muscles. This girdle of muscle in our pelvis needs to be toned to keep us strong physically and to be able to move energy.

From there we practiced moving energy, circulating it around our bodies, following the Microcosmic Circuit. Using breath, the pelvic floor and an uncluttered mind, this is a powerful way to move energy around the body, keeping it charged up and vital.

Next we focused on our chakras, with a guided meditation to identify and feel them, then to breath to each using the Flute Breath.

Once everyone was breathing freely and the energy flowing internally, we did partner work. First, a fire breath kneeling a facing each other. This is the one which often gets people going into a whole body energetic orgasm. No-one overtly did this time, although one couple told me they had to stop for fear of embarrassing themselves, and a few others were clearly shaking and trembling, if without the accompanying sounds.

A calmer exercise followed, to sit cross-legged facing each other and touch each others heart chakras, and lower chakras (couples who were actually lovers touched the base chakra, pairs who weren’t touched the second chakra), circulating love energy and sexual energy.

Finally, we stood and held hands. The women circulated their love energy from their heart chakras, down their left arm and into the person on their left’s right arm; the men circulated their sexual energy from their sexual chakras up their torso and down their left arm, so that both energies merged and flowed around the circle. Then we swapped. Then we circulated both love and sexual energy within our bodies and around the circle, hands touching, then slightly apart.

I had to stop there as I was about to go into a full-blown energy orgasm – pure ecstasy!

Wonderful stuff!

As I said to the group, this is permaculture on the inside. They were there studying how to harmonise the world on the outside, this is how to harmonise themselves on the inside.

This is how we will transform the world, inside and out.

New Workshop! Tantric Lovers by The Love Coach

Monday, March 28th, 2011

Jacqueline Hellyer, The Love Coach, is Sydney’s very own sexpert and her workshops have helped hundreds to discover, rediscover and explore intimacy, sex and pleasure. We are very excited to announce that she has added an all new workshop to her popular workshop calendar.

Tantric Lovers – Zen and the Art of Making Love, is a one day workshop that is all about connection, sensuality and connection.

Jacqueline Hellyer

This workshop focuses exclusively on the Tantric/Taoist/energetic aspects of sex and sexuality. Consider it ‘Zen and the Art of Making Love’.

Whereas Luscious Lovers is held in a luscious wine bar, Tantric Lovers is run in a luscious yoga studio.

This workshop is about deepening trust and openness, so a range of activities cover breath, feeling and moving energy in the body, sharing energy, communication between couples and connected touch.

The first Tantric Lovers workshop was run recently and was an absolutely gorgeous and moving day.  To let the participants describe it in their own words (better than me telling you how wonderful it is!):

Jacqueline has done it again! What a way to reconnect for Valentine’s Day. I’m so glad that we invested our money in this course, rather than chocolates and roses! The course helped us remember the importance of completely “being” with each other – not just physically, but on a much deeper level. We will take this into the bedroom and practice the art of real love-making, not just sex!”

“Loved it – my love life has SOOO shifted to another level….you showed me in an amazing way, how I was able to tap into a field of energy that I didn’t realize existed when it comes to lovemaking and intimacy which shifts the whole experience to another level. I am now better able to remain focused and present to the whole experience.”

“Thank you for such a unique and positive experience. It’s very refreshing to interact and see so many couples still so deeply in love after so many years. Today society puts too much focus on divorce and negativity and not enough time on teaching couples the amazing re-connecting techniques that we learnt in your wonderful workshops. We loved every minute of our Tantric Lovers experience. It was such a beautiful experience to be surrounded by so much love. Thank you for filling up our love bank!”

“Thank you very much for running the workshop. It was fabulous! It was a great day spent expressing and learning to express even deeper our love for each other. It has had a lovely positive effect on our relationship, and this boosted love has extended out to all other relationships in my life. It’s brought a spark to my life for ‘communion’.  And with the basket of golden-egg goodies (exercises) we received on the day, I feel resourced-up to explore what was previously unknown and a little intimidating. “

Upcoming Tantric Lovers Workshops

22 May 2011   –   Yoga To Go, 106-108 Crystal St, Petersham   –   10am to 6pm

Click HERE to go to Jacqueline’s website for full details.