Posts Tagged ‘mindful sex’

The Sex Coach: The Art & Craft of Mindful Loving

Friday, August 12th, 2011

I gave a talk on this topic at WakeUp! Sydney’s Time for Renewal Conference last weekend. It was great! What fantastic people in the audience – and how wonderful to watch 100 or so people wandering around the room greeting each other with their genitals (clad of course)! It made me realise that this is what I do – teach, coach and inspire around the Art and Craft of Mindful Sex!

That’s quite a biggie for me, as I often have trouble explaining what I do. In a predominantly sex-negative society where sex is either considered ribald or shameful (or both), it’s quite hard to explain that you work in the sex-positive field.
The term Tantra is good, but it’s also hundreds of years old and so not completely relevant to modern urban Australians. What is Tantra anyway?

Essentially it’s mindful sex. Or to be a little broader: mindful loving. Loving with presence and focus, fully engaged physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Mindful sex means that:

  • your monkey chatter mind is stilled, so your brain can focus creatively and connectedly;
  • your body has heightened awareness, fully using each of its five senses, so there is great feeling throughout the whole body;
  • you’re focused on the whole body, and even beyond the body, not just the genitals;
  • there is a palpable energetic flow within you and between you, you feel connected;
  • your sexual play flows in peaks and valleys, from intensity to subtlety and everywhere in between;
  • you communicate verbally and physically with ease and understanding;
  • you feel both deep and light: deep in feeling and light in freedom;
  • orgasms may or may not happen, it’s the pleasure of the process not specific outcomes that matter;
  • the encounter leaves you feeling recharged and reinvigorated;
  • you find that the whole of life improves, you are healthier, more vital and feel a positive joyful outlook on life.

With mindfulness a quick snuggle under the covers can be as profound as hours of play on a weekend away. It’s about what’s happening in the moment. A mindful moment can be an eternity.

Mindfulness is a challenge to modern urban types whose lives rush by at a million miles an hour. So if you can learn to incorporate it into your loving and love-making, not only will the experience of sex be oh so much better, you’ll become more mindful in the rest of life