Archive for the ‘Sex Guides’ Category

Empowerment, Inspiration and Creativity in sex and all aspects of your life

Wednesday, May 29th, 2013

As a counsellor specialising in sexual and relationship issues one would think that I hear all sorts of outrageous stories about my clients’ sexual experiences. And I do. Some would think it’s the dream job; talking about sex all day- what more could I want? And, well, yes it’s true, it is my dream job and I love it. But aside from all of this I also hear endless stories about individuals and couples that are looking for more in aspects of their lives that don’t seem to have anything to do with sex. They don’t just come to sessions wanting to heat things up in the bedroom but they often talk about issues that go much deeper.

 

Believe it or not a lot of the work I do involves the exploration of issues that go right to the core of my clients’ sense of existence on this earth. Deep huh? Yep. And they occur on multiple levels. The first level is clients’ dreams for their romantic relationships such as wanting a richer and deeper sexual connection with their partner, improving intimacy and exploring with their partner. The second level involves deeply personal issues such as the development of self-esteem, self-exploration (in whatever form that may take!), greater consciousness, spirituality, assertiveness skills, the search for happiness and even finding inner peace.  And the third level deals with life skills and challenges such as reaching financial security, finding the dream job, achieving a balanced lifestyle, good health, pursuing studies, hobbies, travel and friendships. It’s a lot to deal with and I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all struggled with some, if not all of these issues in our lives.

 

What I’ve found is that for many of my clients (and myself included!) to feel truly empowered, inspired and creative in their sex lives they often need to work on many of the aspects just described.  I’ll give you an example. John presents for counselling with erectile dysfunction. His wife complains that they don’t have sex any more and even when they try he struggles with his erections. Hmmm…seems a simple case of Erectile Dysfunction. But when I dig a little deeper, John reveals that he has been working 60-hour weeks in the same job for 15 years. When asked why he keeps doing it he answers “because, well, what else is there to do?” 6 months ago he was diagnosed with depression and his doctor warned him that if he didn’t change his eating and exercise habits he would become a candidate for diabetes and cardiovascular disease. After some time working with John and his wife, he was able to feel strong enough to change his work schedule, invest in his health, make more time for his family and have a healthier, more fulfilling and connected sexual and relationship with his wife. It took some time and lots of dedication, but John is a happier man for it now.

 

We all have room to grow, evolve and become more empowered, inspired and creative. For more information on how check out my new workship ‘Lovin your Loving’.

 

Signing off.

Christina

 

NEW WORKSHOP THIS TUESDAY!!!

Saturday, August 25th, 2012

In our opinion it’s never too late for some good sex education – and it’s even better when it’s not just about sex, but about the love and desire we all feel too – after all, it all goes together to make for a fabulous life! So we’re super-psyched to be bringing Christina Spaccavento out this week for the first of our Summer Workshops – Love & Desire: Stronger Relationships, Better Sex.

This workshop is designed for EVERYBODY – whether your in a relationship or single, whether your into boys, girls, or both – the human body is something we can all talk about. Tickets are selling fast, and we have a maximum of 50 places for this workshop. You can get you tix online or in-store.

So What’s It ALL About?…….

Ever wanted to know why libido changes?

Or how to understand your lover’s needs better?

Do you want to know more about love & desire?

This informative and practical workshop led by Christina Spaccavento –  Sex Therapist and Relationship Counsellor – will explain the basics of sexual desire in relationships and provide easy and accessible techniques that lovers can use to keep the fire burning within their relationships and themselves!

Plus, a Q&A where you’re encouraged to ask Christina anything!

The Details

When: Tuesday 28th August 2012

Time: 7PM – Please aim to arrive 15 minutes prior to the start.

Where: MaXXX Black – Level 1, 264 King Street, Newtown

Tickets: $20 (including booking fee)

Tickets are available: at the counter in-store, or you can phone us for mail orders OR

CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE YOUR TICKETS ONLINE

 

About Christina

Christina is a qualified Sex Therapist and Relationship Counsellor. Her understanding, warmth, humour and experience has made her popular with singles and couples alike from across the social spectrum.

Christina has made contributions to media including National Geographic, Marie Claire & Body+Soul. She works with couples & individuals on a broad range of sexual issues, and holds a Masters of Sexual Health from the University of Sydney, is the Acting CEO of Impotence Australia and is a Board Member of ASSERT NSW.

 

Jacqueline Hellyer: Pelvic Floor Pleasures – The Basics

Sunday, July 15th, 2012

Available as a podcast: download here!

Can you use your pelvic floor to draw up energy and recharge yourself? Can you have sustained orgasms? Men, can you use your muscles to help you last longer? If not, can I suggest you strengthen your pelvic floor muscles?!…

What are The Pelvic Floor Muscles?

The pelvic floor is a band of muscle that goes from the pubic bone at the front to the tailbone at the back and to the bones of the upper thighs on either side. It’s a girdle of muscle that holds all the pelvic organs in place, with just a few holes for the various tubes to come through.

Benefits of Toned Muscles

Like any muscle, if it’s toned it’s stronger and more effective than if it’s untoned.

Since having toned pelvic floor muscles means:

  • heightened awareness of and connection to your pelvic region and genitals
  • better sexual response in terms of awareness of sensations
  • more pleasure for your partner (she can massage him, he can last longer)
  • better orgasms with greater sensation and longer length
  • continued good sex as you get older
  • her vagina won’t fall out when you’re old (yes, vaginal prolapse can happen!)

– there’s a lot to be said for toning those muscles!

 

How to Tone The Muscles

 

Locate the muscles by squeezing as though you are trying to stop urine flowing. Aim to isolate just that muscle area, so that your abdomen and buttocks stay relaxed. Keep your breathing calm and flowing.

  1. 1) Squeeze and relax rhythmically: in for half a second, relax for half a second. Do this for as long as you can, at least half a minute, but you can do it for ever if you like!
  2. 2) Squeeze, hold and relax: Squeeze the muscles, then hold them for as long as you can. A few seconds initially, then increasing up to a 20 seconds or more. Make sure your abdomen and buttock muscles are relaxed as you do this. Keep breathing evenly.

3) Squeeze in stages: Squeeze your muscles, then squeeze a little tighter, then a little more, and a little more…then just touch a more…And release!

It’s important that you don’t only focus on the squeezing in. You also need to relax out. So finish with some gentle squeezes in and pushes out, just like a wave lapping on the shore, do about 20 or so.

So practice those exercises every day whenever you think of it. Then when you’ve got the hang of it, read my next post for more advanced training and the awesome things you can do when you’ve got those muscles good and toned!

 

Would you like to learn more about outrageously good sex and loving? Then book in to my Tantra Fusion Workshops, or have private sex therapy and/or Tantra sessions.

Advice: Heat things up with temperature play!

Friday, June 22nd, 2012

It might be cold outside, but that only gives us lots of reasons to play more indoors. Here at MaXXX we find that this time of year has lots of couples buying up big on things like massage oils and candles, specialty lubricants and little tips and tricks to extend fun in the bedroom on long cold nights.

Besides a little slap and tickle, or perhaps a bit of light bondage, there is one area of play you may have not explored before – temperature play.

Temperature changes stimulate and excite nerves. When outside influences stay the same, your nerves relax and can become desensitised — they know what’s coming, nothing is changing, so they go to low power. If you stimulate the nerves by changing temperature, they stay awakeand, therefore, increase the power of your sexual play.

By experimenting with different degrees of touch and temperature, you will expose your body to a variety of thrilling physical reactions that you haven’t felt before. These diverse sensations dramatically increase arousal, heighten skin sensitivity, and release pleasure-fueling endorphins.”

TURN UP THE HEAT

Why it works:Adding heat to the right spots on your lover’s bod will actually boost their sensitivity to touch. Applying warmth raises thermal temperature, causing  blood flow to increase, which, in turn, makes skin more receptive to stimulation.  And a little heat goes a long way.Mind-blowing moves: Fire up your sack sessions by breathing new life into foreplay…literally. When you blow on their skin, your warm breath creates a change in temperature, which heightens arousal,” says Stella Resnick, PhD, author of The Pleasure Zone. Simply let your parted lips linger over the more sensitive spots, like their stomach, ears or neck, and gently exhale. Juliana, 23, swears this technique is not all hot air. “My guy actually quivers whenever I blow on his earlobes and nipples while we’re fooling around,” she says. “He always tells me he gets such a rush when I do that.”

If you want to bring your partner to the boiling point, try this hot-water trick. Put a warm — not scalding — cup of H2O by the bed. Before you go down, take a sip to get your mouth nice and toasty, and swallow. Then take another small sip, but this time hold on to the liquid as you take them in your mouth, swish the water around for a few seconds and then swallow. If any of it spills , just lick it off; we promise, your lover won’t mind one little bit.

Besides special lubricants that can heat up and cool down you can also try using massage candles for some safe hot wax play. Unlike traditional candles, massage candles (like those from LELO, right) are usually made from soy wax, and are designed to melt the wax so that it’s warm enough to pour and spread, but not so hot that it will burn or mark.

Use it for massage or to tease your partner with a drop or two from a height – either way you’ll both be a little ‘hotter’.

TIP: Pour some of the wax into a plastic baster and microwave for a few seconds. Then you cna use the  baster to drop little beads of hot wax onto their body, spell out naughty words or create a trail for your partner to follow on your body. (is just as much fun with some massage oil hated up).
Hotter Than Hot: If all of this sounds fun, but not quite enough, then turn your naughty thoughts to the world of adult toys – and especially the ones that can fit into your temperature play fantasies.
Glass: Glass dildos, dilettes and plugs have been around for decades. But only in the last 5 years or so have they truly become gorgeous play things. Made from super-strong materials, and often infused with precious metals for lustrous colour, a glass piece can be mildly heated and cooled simply with a glass of water bu the bed.
Metal: Think shiny. Really shiny. Hand-polished stainless steel, gold and silver sex toys are all in-vogue at the moment. Super-safe, easily cleaned, but more importantly – metal toys (steel especially) will hold their heat for even longer than glass. So you have even more time to figure out the best place to play with them. Just like glass, there is a toy for pretty much everyone, from petite beads to the incredible Njoy Eleven.
To see more of MaXXX Black’s romance and intimacy products check out the latest gift guide at www.maxxxblack.com

Christina Spaccavento: Libido, sex drive, sexual desire – where has it gone?

Friday, June 8th, 2012

Libido…Sex Drive…Sexual Desire! Call it what you want but where has it gone??

From clinical experience, I’ve found that clients in committed, long-term relationships often present in my counselling room with complaints relating to reduced, low or non-existent sexual desire. And it is not uncommon that clients present after years of conflict regarding one partner’s sexual desire and/or availability.

But before we get started it is important to understand exactly what Sex Therapists are talking about when we refer to “sexual desire”.  To keep it plain and simple sexual desire can be understood in a couple of ways. The first and most common understanding suggests that sexual desire is an innate biological drive that motivates individuals to seek out sexual stimuli or activity.  Many of can relate to this of course; it’s those times when you say to yourself “I just want sex!” The second interpretation sees sexual desire as an external force that manifests in the potential partner rather than from an internal need within the desiring self. In my own experience with clients, I’ve found that people can show both innate and external desire and this can occur interchangeably within their relationships.

So why do people struggle with sexual desire? What are the causes? It is important to acknowledge that there can be multiple physical, medical, psychological, emotional and social factors contributing to this phenomenon.

You may have heard friends, family, colleagues or even strangers talking about why their mojo just won’t show. These may have been factors such as long working days, exhaustion, children, lack of privacy in the family home, relationship problems such as anger at the other partner, or a significant life event, communication problems, substance abuse, anxiety and depression, illness, certain medications, prior sexual abuse, gynaecological problems or even a primary medical problem such as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD). And while this seems like a long list, it is by no means exhaustive. Unresolved problems relating to sexual desire can prove catastrophic to both the sexual and non-sexual relationship in long-term relationships. In a situation where people might be feeling strain in their relationship, this may be a good time to see a health practitioner that can assist and offer support.

Sex therapists use a number of techniques that can be used to address sexual desire issues. General education about the anatomy and physiology of the body and sexual techniques can be very helpful when people have limited or no knowledge about. We also give our clients sensual touch homework exercises involving touching, caressing and non-coital massage. Who would have thought homework could be so much fun? The aim of the game is to help couples recapture their sexual intimacy and work towards rebuilding that physical connection that may have been neglected due to any problems that may have arisen in the relationship. Communication! Communication! Communication! You guessed it, being able to communicate and negotiate our needs and wants, both sexually and more generally within the context of the relationship is also important as an influencing factor in upping “that thang”.

It is important to remember that working with sexual issues also involves working with relationships. Sexual and relationship issues can exist on their own. However, relationship problems can cause sexual problems and sexual problems can cause relationship problems and is not always easy to know the links between relationship and sexual problems.

The information discussed in this article offers some brief information and a few simple suggestions about how I work with low sexual desire.  But one size does not fit all and each individual and/or couple will no doubt benefit from an individualised and client centered consultation with a qualified and experienced Sex Therapist and/or Relationship Counsellor.

For academic references please feel free to email me at christina@sstherapy.com.au

Christina is one of the very talented sex therapy professionals that MaXXX Black recommends. For information about sex therapy and counselling we encourage everyone to read our Community Links page.

Jacqueline Hellyer: 3rd Level Love-Making

Monday, April 23rd, 2012

Available as a podcast: download here!
There’s a wise old saying about spiritual and personal growth: first there is the mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is the mountain again.
What this means is that you have normality, then that disappears while you grow and experience the opposite, and then it comes back again as you integrate the two. But it’s not the same reality, it might look the same but the experience of it is quite different.

If we’re talking about sex and intimacy, and human sexual potential, then the process is the same.

At first we do standard sex, which generally means focusing on the physical, generally in our heads. You’ll have heard me describe this in various ways: the performance model of sex, the adolescent male masterbatory model of sex. This is level one sex, where you focus on the ‘peaks’ of sex, the ‘bigger-harder-faster’. Level one sex is about technique, sexual excitation and explosive orgasms. This is the mountain you start with.

Then you realise that this type of sex is not entirely satisfying, there has to be more. So you start to explore a deeper approach to sex. You may find that you are attracted to Tantra, with its mindful approach to love-making. You find yourselves slowing down, taking time to connect and to build eroticism. This is level two love-making. This is where you become aware of the ‘valleys’ of sex, where the sensual and subtle create feelings of ecstacy. This is where the mountain disappears, sex is not what it was.

Then the mountain reappears as you combine both the peaks and valleys of sex. But these are not the same peaks you knew before you discovered the valleys. These are peaks of sexual intensity that come with great presence and connection. You swing between the peaks of sexual intensity and the valleys of sexual bliss, in a flow of love-making that has no plan or expectation. This is stage three lovemaking, and it is truly awesome.

Would you like to learn more about second level love-making and even move on to third level one-making? Then book in to my Tantra Fusion Workshops, or have private sex therapy and/or Tantra sessions.

Jacqueline Hellyer: Female Bodies Are Sexual Pleasure Machines

Friday, March 9th, 2012
[DISCLAIMER: MaXXX Black recommends finding a sex therapist or counsellor that suits your needs, relationships and lifestyle. The views expressed by members of our Community Newtwork do not necessarily reflect the opinions of MaXXX Black]

The human body is a sexual pleasure machine, and the female body even more so than the male.
That may seem surprising if your concept of someone’s ‘level of sexuality’ is determined by their ‘level of libido’. We’re rather too libido-oriented in this society. The general belief is that sex is a response to feeling horny. Along with that belief comes the implicit assumption that the hornier you feel, the better sex will be.

Since women have bought into this model and believe that they should be horny before they have sex, given that women’s sexuality isn’t the ‘gagging-for-it’ type: they tend to give up, they don’t do what it takes to get in the mood, generally thinking that there’s something wrong with them (if they’ve got low self-esteem) or claiming they’re ‘normal’, declaring that ‘women don’t like sex’ and their parter is ‘sex-crazed’ (if they’re more assertive).
It’s true that women tend to have libidos like men. Women’s sexuality is not hormonally driven, it’s contextual. It depends so much on how a woman is feeling and what’s going on for, that determnes if she’s open and receptive to sex, not necessarily ‘horny’.

Once a women allows herself to get into the mood, and approaches sex in a more female-friendly way (ie not trying to be like a man) – wow, the places she can go! Because when it comes to the response side of sex (as opposed to the desire side) – well, women are far more superior then men!

Women can have orgasms that are more intense, more frequent and last longer than men’s. On top of the standard clitoral orgasm, which is similar in physiology and feel to the male ejaculatory orgasm, women can have orgasms through vaginal stimulation, g-spot (actually the urethral sponge) stimulation, AFE-spot stimulation, cervical stimulation, anal stimulation, nipple stimulation, in fact, from virtually any part of their body, and even without physical touch (either by being in the presence of a man who’s very present in his masculinity, or by bringing yourself to orgasm through breath and visualisation). Women can have multiple orgasms, wet orgasms (more commonly known by the dreadful male-centric term: female ejaculation), full body orgasms, and can stay in ecstatic states of arousal for very long periods of time.

Unfortuantely, most people don’t even realise what women’s sexual potential is. After a few decades of wondering why women are so sexual dysfunctional because they don’t function sexually like men, Western scientific research is only now starting to acknowledge that women’s sexuality is different. But it’s still way off realising just how wonderfully different women’s sexuality is.

Fortunately some people (like me!) are exploring beyond the boring limits of conventional models of sex in the West, taking on board the wisdom of older sexual traditions, such as the Tantric and Taoist, and doing a lot of personal research: I know all this is possible because I experience it.

When women realise it’s possible, they can start to experience it. When women have sexual responses like this, when they go to heaven, they take their man their with them. There is nothing a man likes more than to give his women this level of sexual pleasure. It satisfies him to his very core. It makes him feel like a Real Man. He may not be able to experience the level of feeling that she can, but he can feel fantastic for getting her there.

Female sexual response is extraordinary. It takes a while to get there, but like all good things, it takes time. The more time and attention you pay to something, generally the better the outcome.

Throw away the limiting beliefs, expand your possibilities to so much more – open yourself up to your glorious potential!

To learn more about becoming more fully into your feminine and being able to soften and open up in this way, I recommend you attend my Tantra Fusion workshops.

Or book in for private Tantra instruction and sex therapy.

NEW PRODUCTS: Quiver Books Now At MaXXX Black

Friday, February 17th, 2012

You might not of heard of Quiver Books before, but they publish some of the latest (and greatest) books about sex, sexuality and relationships. And their books are now available at MaXXX Black.

We’ve always loved a good read, especially when it’s about sex, and our book department has always been very popular. But with a recent renovation giving us LOTS more room to play we decided to make the selection even better by bringing in dozens of new titles over Summer.

There’s far too many to get into in one blog article, but since the first few Quiver titles became available on our web-store this morning, I thought I would mention a few:

Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation

NEW FROM TRISTAN TAORMINO

The Secret of Great G-Spot Orgasms

Leading sex educator Tristan Taormino presents the best positions, couple-play techniques, and solo exercises for maximizing G-spot stimulation, achieving female ejaculation, and having intense, full-body orgasms. We love Tristan’s work, and we’ve been stocking her books for years. This is easily one of her best works to date.

Look out for announcements of Tristan’s Australian Tour in April (she might even pop up here at MB).

Mastering Multiple=Mastering Multiple Position Sex

Eric Garrison (sexologist) takes the traditional sex manual a step further by outlining entire bedroom scenarios, from seduction to sexplay to positions, including the transitions in between.

If finding new ways to play is important to you, or you just want to feel more confident (and sexy) then Eric’s books is perfect.

It’s not a technical manual, and the images are modern, eye-catching and even helpful.

Time Poor? Chances are you’re just like millions of Australians – too busy and in demand to be able to schedule many of those long bouts of lovemaking that used to be so much fun. The Art of the Quickie is a book that will coach readers how to have quick, but rewarding sex.

Fast sex can be thrilling for men and women, and Dr. Joel Black’s latest book helps to break down some of the anxieties associated with fast sex as well as applying techinques to make your quickies fulfilling for both of you.

These are just three of the new books that are in-store and online right now.  We’ll be reviewing some of our favourites right here on the blog over the coming weeks.

Happy Reading!

Eat Your Way To Better Sex – Part 2

Tuesday, February 14th, 2012

No doubt that today, being Valentine’s Day, will see millions of couples step out for a luxurious, or intimate, or purely romantic dinner. So it’s the perfect day to present Part 2 of our super sex foods. (You can read part one here)

Here’s 6 more yummy foods that will boost your sex life…

7. Eat More Fruit

Did you know that men who consume at least 200 milligrams of vitamin C a day improve their sperm counts and motility? In fact Vitamin C has even been shown to be effective in reversing infertility in some men (University of Texas) in as little as 14 days.

And while you’re in the grocer don’t forget the Watermelon. It’s filled with high concentrations of the good-for-your-heart, good-for-sex phytonutrients lycopene, beta carotene, and, the big one, citrulline. Citrulline is particularly exciting for its ability to relax blood vessels, according to studies at Texas A&M University. When you eat watermelon, the citrulline is converted to the helpful amino acid arginine. Arginine boosts nitric oxide, which relaxes blood vessels, the same basic effect that Viagra has, to treat erectile dysfunction and maybe even prevent it.

8. Red Meat & Red Wine

Alot of people are going to like this one. Italian researchers recently found that the antioxidants and alcohol in the wine may trigger the production of nitric oxide in the blood, which helps artery walls to relax, increasing blood flow to the genitals. Just limit yourselves to a glass or two. More alcohol than that can put a damper on sexual performance and lead to bed spins of a not-very-sexy nature. Worth noting: even teetotalers can benefit from the red grape. Dark grape juice contains antioxidant polyphenols that protect the cardiovascular system and help keep skin flexible and elastic.

Which brings us to red meat. Lean cuts are great sources of zinc, a mineral that curbs production of a hormone called prolactin, which at high levels can cause sexual dysfunction, according to Berman. Zinc is also a key muscle-building nutrient, and the high concentrations of conjugated linoleic acids (CLA) in beef, studies show, may spur weight loss. Choose filet mignon or other deep red cuts with round or loin in the name, because they are the leanest.

9. Beans (a.k.a. Protein)

Protein is so important to weight maintenance that you should eat it with every meal and snack. Proteins boost metabolism a little more during digestion than any other type of food. Plus protein increases metabolism by helping to build muscle and stall the muscle loss that naturally happens as we age. Muscle is more metabolically active than fat is, so the more lean muscle on your body the better at burning calories it will be. Plus, well-toned abs and thighs are nice to look at when unadorned by clothing. So, how do you eat more protein without going overboard on eggs and meat? Beans—they’re good for the heart and your glutes. Kidneys, garbanzos, black beans, and navy beans are full of muscle-building protein.

While they may not be the best choice for a side dish if you plan on sex for dessert, building your meal plan around a foundation of beans and legumes will ultimately pay off for you sexually. Many studies show that bean eaters are leaner and healthier than people who don’t eat beans. According to one study in the Journal of the American College of Nutrition, people who eat 3/4 cup beans or legumes a day have lower blood pressure and smaller waists than people who get their protein from meat. Beans are also full of cholesterol-lowering soluble fiber. A quarter cup of red kidney beans delivers 3 grams of fiber, plus more than 6,000 disease-fighting antioxidants. Navy beans are particularly rich in potassium, which regulates blood pressure and heart contractions, something you’ll need as your heart starts racing when he does that special move that makes you melt.

10. Fresh Fish

Well, to be more specific – fatty fish. If what’s good for your heart is good for your love life, then fish like salmon, mackerel, sardines and tuna should feature regularly in your meals.

The omega-3 fatty acids DHA and EPA found in fish help to raise dopamine levels in the brain that trigger arousal, according to sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright, PhD. Other health benefits: anti-inflammatory properties that fight blood clots and heart arrhythmias, better brain function, and protection against dementia. Studies show that omega-3s can also reduce symptoms of depression. Research from the University of Pittsburgh showed that people with high omega-3 blood levels were happier and more agreeable. Tell us that can’t help you get more sex!

Fish is one of the many healthy foods that contain the amino acid L-arginine, which stimulates the release of growth hormone among other substances and is converted into nitric oxide in the body. It’s worth repeating: nitric oxide is critical for erections and it can help women’s sexual function as well by causing blood vessels to open wider for improved blood flow.

11. Oats & Grains

Did you know a bowl of Uncle Tobys’ finest is one of the few ways to boost testosterone in the bloodstream?

The male hormone plays a significant role in sex drive and orgasm strength in both men and women. Oats (as well as seeds, ginseng, nuts, dairy, and green vegetables) contain L-arginine, an amino acid that enhances the effect nitric oxide has on reducing blood vessel stiffness. L-arginine has been used to treat erectile dysfunction. Like Viagra, it helps relax muscles around blood vessels in the penis. When they dilate, blood flow increases so a man can maintain an erection.

Oatmeal and other whole grains like whole-grain bread, brown rice, and barley also qualify as good-for-the-heart, better-for-the-gut foods. They are slow-burning, complex carbohydrates that won’t drive your blood sugar through the roof. They keep you feeling fuller longer and provide excellent energy. Try a bowl of steel-cut oatmeal with fresh berries and bananas with a drizzle of honey before your next marathon sex session.

12. Oysters & Shellfish

Oysters have long held their reputation as an aphrodisiac (though that is historically attributed to their shape and visual appeal), however raw oysters do have a strong connection to sexual function.

Oysters hold more zinc than most any other food, and it is believed that this mineral may enhance libido by helping with testosterone production–higher levels of the hormone are linked to an increase in desire. Zinc is also crucial to healthy sperm production and blood circulation. While Casanova reportedly ate 50 raw oysters a day, about six will provide double the recommended daily allowance of 15 mg of zinc.

To spice things up a bit, try a few dashes of hot sauce on your raw oysters. Other good sources of zinc are shrimp, red meat, pumpkin seeds, poultry and pork, eggs, and dairy products.

——

No matter what you’re serving, make it healthy, yummy and sensual – and remember, food  does more than set the mood, it’s also vital to the way we want to play.

xox MaXXXie

Jacqueline Hellyer : What is Sex Therapy, Sex Coaching & Tantra Teaching?

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

I’m often asked what’s the difference between sex therapy and coaching, and where Tantra fits in. So here goes…

In a nutshell, Sex Therapy fixes sexual dysfunctions to make people sexually functional. Sex (and Relationship) Coaching, takes functional people and makes them exceptional. As I do both, I can help you fix the problems, and then take you beyond – far beyond – into the realm of exceptional! That’s where the Tantra comes in.

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What is Sex Therapy?
Sex Therapy is a modality of sexual healing to help people with sexual dysfunctions become sexually functional. This involves addressing the psychological barriers to sexual health and well-being as well as providing sexual education and correction of limiting or false beliefs around sex and sexuality. Once healing has occurred, Sex Coaching can then take the individual or client to greater sexual awareness and fulfillment.

What is Sex Coaching?
Sex Coaching is pathway for sexual growth. Sex Coaching is a client-focused approach that works with sexually functional individuals and couples to enable them to deepen and expand their experience of sex, love and intimacy. Depending on the needs of the client, it may include ancient and esoteric teachings (see Tantra Teaching), sex education and instruction. The Coach helps the client to discover and enhance their own eroticism to create a love life that is one of ongoing growth and fulfillment.

What is Relationship Coaching?
Relationship coaching is a professional client-focused service where an essentially functional individual or couple is guided to create their desired relationship with effective support and information. The Coach enables the client(s) to become clear about their needs, hopes and desires, and to develop understandings and strategies to achieve these in a mutually supportive way. While past hurts and history may be addressed, the focus is more on moving forward, with the aim of enabling ongoing personal and relationship growth.

What is Tantra Teaching?
Tantra is a spiritual and energetic approach to sex and life that comes from ancient India. Along with the Taoists of China and Qidosha from North America, these approaches to sex, love and intimacy are much broader and deeper than conventional western understandings. Through practices that include breathing, mindfulness, moving energy and sensual touch, you will learn to connect with your partner is a way that is real, deep, erotic, poetic and intensely beautiful. Tantra sessions do not involve nudity or intimate touch – that’s the homework!

Book in for private sessions or attend Tantra Fusion Workshops to take your relationship and sex life to functional and beyond!