Pursue something that will benefit both of you – discover your guy’s multi-orgasmic response! While a bit of an ambitious venture, the rewards are great, especially in that the ejaculatory control he must develop will make for longer, sweeter sex and increased sexual confidence in the sack. Not a bad way to improve intimacy, eh?
Now the whole process of becoming multi-orgasmic really boils down to a male’s interest and ability to explore his potential for such. There are some really good resources out there, like Mantak Chia’s The MultiOrgasmic Male and www.multiples.com, that will get him well on his way to cosmic bliss. There are, however, few reads focusing exclusively on what female lovers can do to help him in this cause. So here’s what you can do to assist him in his efforts…
Understanding His Response
First things first, you need to know what’s going on with his body before you can be of any use. As he becomes aroused and erect, he’s passing through the excitement phase of his sexual response cycle, no problem. But it’s the next part that involves the ultimate control challenge – the contractile phase or emission phase.
Here, as his prostate contracts and empties semen into his urethra, he has to make a major decision: To carry on and enjoy the immediate gratification of ejaculation, or slow the pace and postpone maximum fulfillment, in hopes of multiple orgasms.
If he decides to hold off, he’ll stay in this contractile phase, experiencing a series of prostate contractions, a.k.a. pelvic orgasms or “contractile-phase orgasms.” In continuing to hold off, he’ll need to stay as close as possible to ejaculatory inevitability, that point of no return, without shooting a load.
What You Can Do
Before participating in any male multi-o partner exercise, both of you need to realize that this quest is not about pleasuring in the immediate sense. Some orgasmic sacrifices will have to be made for long-term benefits, and it’s important that neither of you become frustrated with the process or each other. Be sure to talk to each other about what’s expected of one another, reviewing the resources he’s using together.
Next, determine words both of you will use to signal when you should stop and start stimulation. Furthermore, use a condom, as this can help him maintain an erection and postpone ejaculation, making the process a bit easier for him. Lastly, during most sex acts and in many positions, you can push on his Million Dollar Point, the indentation on his perineum just in front of his anus, while asking him to contract his PC muscle. Doing this when he’s about to ejaculate can help to stop the ejaculatory reflex.
Where to Begin…
Giving him a hand-job is the best place to start. Using an un-lubricated hand, stimulate his penis, asking him for pointers on how he’d like to be stroked. As he approaches the point of ejaculatory inevitability, he needs to tell you to stop. After his arousal levels have fallen, he should ask you to resume.
Repeat these simple steps several times over several sessions, eventually using lubricant when he’s ready. More advanced stages of this exercise involve slowing the pace or changing your stroke rather than stopping entirely. Naturally, the two of you will graduate to having you provide the same kind of stimulation, only with your mouth on his penis, repeating the same start-stop steps.
In eventually advancing to intercourse after a series of manual and oral sex sessions, sit on his thighs and rub his erect penis on your inner thighs as he takes deep, relaxed breaths. After teasing him for a bit, take a break, then play with his penis again, this time against your pubic area. After another rest, rub his erection along your outer vaginal lips, pausing to put the head of the penis close to the opening. Continue to repeat these steps until he can go through the entire exercise without anxiety or the need to ejaculate.
Once at that level, place his erect penis at your vaginal opening. After a few seconds, place it about one inch into the vagina. Continue doing so, moving slowly, until he is completely inside of you. You need to stay still and let him be there for 15 minutes. If he loses his erection, contract your vaginal muscles (PC muscle) tight enough to get him hard again.
With practice, you’ll eventually be able to work to a sexual position that involves slow thrusting, slowly increasing movement and always letting him feel in control of the pace. Do not start thrusting to satisfy yourself! Repeat in different positions, eventually with both of you moving.
Note: Every man has the ability to develop his ejaculatory control and to possibly realize multiple orgasms. Furthermore, it’s best achieved in a positive, relaxed atmosphere. Multiple orgasms are not going to happen if you’re out for a quickie, or if you’re feeling rushed and stressed. This is a process that involves time, effort, and dedication. The results should be well worth all of it.
Author: Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright PhD – first published on bettersexnetwork.