Archive for September, 2011

The Sex Coach: Coming From A Place Of Yes!

Saturday, September 24th, 2011

I had a good chat with a woman who loves sex recently, and she said that she never refuses her husband, that she always comes from a place of “Yes!”. Apparently her mother had drilled into her that it was the best way to stay happy and connected in a marriage, and it was very good advice.

I had to agree, I too like to say “Yes!” to sex, and I’d love it if you could too.

Not in a ‘just do it’ kind of way. I want you to say “Yes!’ to sex, not “Oh, if I must” or “Ok, if you’ll shut up about it” or “well, I suppose you did vacuum the house…”.

I’m not asking you to say ‘yes’ out of a sense of obligation or duty or as a trade-off. I’m saying say ‘Yes!’ to sex because it feels good to be intimate with your partner, because you know that even if you’re not really feeling it yet, once you focus on the beforeplay and then the foreplay, chances are you’ll be having a pretty good time. Then once the deed is done and you’re both in that lovely post-nuptial state with all sorts of yummy hormones flowing through your body, making you feel loving, making you feel happy, keeping you feeling and looking young and vital – well, then you’ll be glad you said ‘Yes!’ to sex. And you’ll find it easier and easier to keep saying yes.

It doesn’t have to be a huge enthusiastic “Yes!” for very encounter, merely an openness and receptivity: a ‘yes, why not’. Then being sufficiently in tune with yourself to know how you’d like to proceed – whether that’s simply following the initiating partner’s lead, or stating that you’d like a bath first or you need to fold the washing and meet you in an hour, or whatever.

Notice that I’m not using genders here. In my practice I see at least as many couples where the man’s got the lower desire as couples where it’s the woman. The myth of ‘all men are gagging for it and the woman are holding out’ is one that really should be ditched.

Generally the higher desire partner (HDP) isn’t a sex-crazed lunatic out to use and abuse you. More likely they simply love you and want to express that love sexually. It’s hard for the HDP to deal with constant rejection.

(Of course, if your partner is emotionally or physically abusive, you need to give a firm “No!” followed by serious soul-searching as to why you got yourself into such a relationship, and then seek out a respectful, loving partner to whom you can say ‘Yes!’ to.)

If you’ve got the lower desire, use your partner’s desire for you to get you in the mood. Say ‘yes’ to their advances and allow yourself to be desired, be wanted, to be adored and worshipped! Be self-indulgent about it – “Yes, here I am, take me!” (And in the process, naturally allowing yourself to return the feeling…)

Saying “Yes!” to sex is really saying “Yes!” to yourself as someone deserving of love, pleasure and adoration.

Saying “Yes!” to sex is saying “Yes!” to love, saying “Yes!” to life.

If you’re struggling with this article and the concepts in it, start slow. Start saying “ye-es…” to the possibility of “Yes!”, allow the yes to grow. To help you along, say ‘yes’ to private sessions with me, or come along to one of my workshops below. That’ll get you on the way to “Yes!”

News: Shir Zinn Erotic Couture Arrives At MaXXX Black

Wednesday, September 21st, 2011

We are absolutley thrilled to announce the arival of the Shiri Zinn Erotic Couture collection at MaXXX Black this week! We’ve had a covetous eye on her stunning designs for a little while now and after an express (and first class) trip across the seas, the first of our Shiri Zinn selection is now available online and in-store.

So why are we SO excited?

Well for starters Shiri Zinn is one of the world’s leading erotic couture artists, and in just a few years since opening her studio in London she has created a line of erotic products that is in demand on four continents and is now available from Australia’s finest adult retailer.

Shiri Zinn is a postgraduate of Central Saint Martins School of Fashion (pic left), which has always been a stable for the outrageous, innovative and avant-garde. Her ten years of study in the field of design have earned her 2 BA Honours Degrees: one in Fine Arts and one in Fashion Design with Marketing (CSM), and a Masters Degree in Jewellery for Fashion (CMS).

She joined a long line of fellow graduates who have gone on to immense success, including Stella McCartney, Alexander McQueen, Galliano & Westwood.

Her 1st designer “Couture Collection” has been stocked in mainstream Department Stores such as Selfridges & Co. & Liberty PLC (of London), 10 Corso Como (Milan), Coco De Mer (London), and owned by celebrities such as Emma Bunton (Baby Spice), Kate Moss, Ivana Trump, the late Benazir Bhutto and other A-List clients.

Shiri Zinn’s collection won her International Erotic Award, and her work has been exhibited in The Museum of Sex 5th Ave New York, The Bombay Sapphire Glass Awards, Selfridges Body Craze Exhibition, The Erotic Museum Los Angeles & “Seduce” Exhibition at the famous Barbican Art Gallery, London.

The difference is the Shiri Zinn has chosen our pleasure to work her magic on. In the world of sex toys there are luxury pleasure objects like those from Lelo, design-centric brands like JimmyJane and even minimalist sculptures that don’t even hint at their use.

And, then there is Shiri Zinn.

Shiri Zinn is the avant garde of Designer Sex and creator of the saucy Minx Vibrator.  Diva, virtuoso, and elite designer to the glitterati high society fashionable world, Shiri Zinn doesn’t shy away from creating objects that are openly sexual, with the highest quality materials and design aesthetics. Most of Zinn’s sex objects combine an antiquated feel with whimsy and a chic modern flair, as if they are long lost treasures that have been resurrected by archeologists from some ancient crypt, shining with precious gems.  Zinn uses the finest materials to create her extraordinary designs including hand-molten glass, quartz and Swarovski crystals, silver, snake skin, feathers and fur.

Violet glassHer latest line are the Amber & Violet Glass wands, made of hand-molten organic glass created in the tradition of the Italian Venetian glass masters.  They differ from Pyrex glass in that they are more expensive to produce, higher quality, and have more substance and weight.

“Glass is altogether more artistic and each piece is unique due to the nature of being handmade. Glass is also more for couple play… focus[ing] on the G-Spot in terms of attaining female ejaculation or to anal penetration. It can also be heated to warm temperature gently for a totally different sensation to plastic. When used warm with a lubricant that can be very suited to foreplay.”—Shiri Zinn.

Shiri Zinn Strap On Set - Red

Also in-store now are her gorgeous lambs-leather strap-on harness and cermaic dildo sets. Unlike anything else on the market these thoroughly feminine strapons are beautifully hand-detailed with beads and embroidery and the matching ceramic dildo with it’s 9ct gold pattern is as sensual as it is practical.

We had a little gasp when we opened the first hand-finished leather case that each of these toys comes in. You will too. Don’t miss out on one these perfect little couture gems.

See The Shiri Zinn Range By Clicking Here

Events: DirtyQueer Magazine Issue 3 Launch Party

Friday, September 16th, 2011

It’s dark, sassy, dirty, clean, sexy, joyous, luscious, subversive and challenging. And issue 3 is gonna be HUGE!

DirtyQueer Magazine is a locally produced half-yearly publication with a core emphasis on photography and culture. Based right here in Newtown, the first two issues were big hits, with the magazine now available in almost a dozen countries.

The next issue is almost ready and to celebrate its being unleashed upon the world, the crew at DirtyQueer is throwing a fabulous launch party.

Blacklight Disco is happening at the Red Rattler Marrickville on Saturday, September 24th from 9pm

DJ’s on the night include Avra Cybelle & Annabelle Gaspar with performances by ZOO, Aaron Manhattan, Ryan Jace and more to come!

Dress To Fluoresce!

Tickets are $15 and are available by clicking HERE.

MIDORI WORKSHOPS

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

There’s going to be lots on offer this Summer with workshops for adults on all kinds of topics – from tantra to boudoir technique to seduction and bondage – whatever you’ve been aching to learn more about now is the time to explore!

So what’s coming up?

MIDORI TOUR

One of the best known sex and kink educators in the WORLD will be touching down in Sydney very soon for a tour of the East coast. Midori will be bringing a series of workshops to Sydney, Brisbane and Melbourne and you don’t have long to secure a place in one of her upcoming workshops:

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JOYSTICK SECRETS (How To Thrill Your Man)

Every woman is born with a sense of how to turn her man on, but some ladies have that little something extra, something that makes men weak at the knees. Joystick secrets takes you into a world where you learn techniques that are so simple to learn, but make so much of a difference to you – and the man you choose to please.

And knowing for certain that what you do really works is empowering, thrilling and very sexy. Why not become simply unforgettable?

An Intensive practice class for women only, it teaches you techniques with hands, mouth and more. Learn how to make him moan and writhe in unbelievable pleasure.

Joystick Secrets will definitely give you the sensual tricks to blow his mind and make the pleasure last…

When: Monday 3rd October 2011 (Long Weekend),  1.00-3.00pm (2 hours)

VISIT THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE TO LEARN MORE & BOOK TICKETS

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BEDROOM BODY MOVES (Learn To Sizzle)

Reveal your inner vamp, one teasing move after another. It’s all easy to learn!

From Stripping to Seduction to Sex (and everything in between!). This is not some gym work-out class. It’s not a class about on-stage performance. It’s a turn-on-your-lover in the bedroom class!  This is a class for the rest of us who want to look better while wiggling out of our clothes and turn on our lovers using simple moves.

Walk away with the know-how to looking sexy & confident taking off anything. Learn floor moves, chair moves, standing moves, bed moves and some saucy sex skills tips too!  You even get the tips on the lap dance that’ll make them sizzle and rivet their attention upon you.

Only available in Sydney, Monday 3rd October, 4 – 6 pm.

VISIT THE OFFICIAL WEBSITE TO LEARN MORE & BOOK TICKETS

SPECIAL: You can combine the Joysticks Secrets and Bedroom Body Moves for a special price of $99.

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BEYOND TWISTED KINK WORKSHOPS

Midori will also be holding a series of kink workshops on virtually every topic! These are the perfect way to explore your kinky side and learn even more about what turns you (and the ones you love) on.

For full details of each workshop as well as ticket prices and bookings, please visit the official website by CLICKING HERE, or on the title of the workshop.

BEST KINK ADVICE NOBODY TOLD YOU

This class empowers you with better ways to understand and express your desires to find more fulfilling play and effective scene planning.

Wednesday 28th September, 7-9pm.

BETTER TOPPING

What you will walk away with is the knowledge to create your own scenes, deliver them with confidence, and empowers you to become the Top you want to be.

Thursday 29th September, 7-9pm

BETTER BOTTOMING

Midori can help you to figure out your bottoming style, and to use it to make your Top happy. Tops sometimes need ego strokes and aftercare, too!

Friday 30th September, 7-9pm

REVOLUTIONSIE YOUR ROPE

Dynamic Passionate Moves is a hands-on movement class using rope in an entirely innovative way… Learn to dance, stretch, seduce, power-exchange and connect at a deeper level using the rope in a whole new way.

Saturday 1st October 11am – 1pm

PREDICAMENT BONDAGE

Here’s a class for fun-loving, wicked tops and for bottoms who enjoy a challenge.

Saturday 1st October 1.45pm – 3.45pm

ROPE FLOW & SPEED DRILLS

Whether you’re an expert or have only taken one rope bondage class, this experience will help to make your rope play more confident, smooth and intuitive.

Saturday 1st October 4.30 – 6.30pm

MAKE EM BLUSH, MAKE EM SQUIRM (erotic humiliation play)

Are you trying to better understand this difficult subject? Have you questioned yourself on your desires or ability to make another squirm? Or have you ever secretly wanted to be put on the spot or shown how really naughty you are? Then this class is for you!

Sunday 2nd October 11am – 1pm

INTERROGATION AND MILITARY SCENES

In this presentation Midori will discuss the different types of military vs. interrogation scenes, how to prepare for them, how to maintain your chosen roles, and how to do it all safely. Scenes will be demonstrated right before your eyes!

Sunday 2nd October 1.45-3.45pm

THE ART OF FEMININE DOMINANCE

Midori will share with you her secrets of the feminine art of dominance. She will discuss the psychology, practical exercises, techniques, fashion, how to discover what makes your partner weak-kneed, and more. This class is not limited to a gender, but for all who harbour the powerful woman within!

Tuesday 4th October 7 – 9pm

FLOGGING – MIDORI STYLE

Improve your flogging skills! Whether you’re a total novice or already confident with the whip, there’s plenty for you in this unique and very active class. You’ll learn how to select the best flogger for your style and body type. Enjoy drills on techniques to deliver powerful, effective sensations without top-fatigue. Sharpen your finesse.

Wednesday 5th October 7 – 9pm

The Sex Coach: Communicate – Human’s Can’t Read Minds!

Thursday, September 15th, 2011

There is nothing more fundamental to a good relationship, and therefore to a good sex life, than communication. It is absolutely, categorically, completely and utterly vital (have I stressed this enough).

It would be nice to think that after years together you might have developed an ‘unspoken understanding’, but don’t count on it. The number of times I’ve heard women complain about their husbands, and when I ask them: “Have you told him?”, the answer is along the lines of: “No/There’s no point/He should know” and so forth.

Unfortunately, it’s a sad fact but true: humans are not mind-readers, you do actually have to speak to each other. And that also means listening to each other. And clarifying that this speaking and listening has in fact resulted in mutual understanding.

Communication is an art. So practise.

Speak
Humans aren’t mind-readers. We do actually have to speak to each other to communicate what we feel and want. Of course body language and gesture are elements of communication too. But it’s actually the faculty of speech that has enabled us to come down out of the trees and become such a successful species. It was speech that enabled early humans to cooperate and progress. It’s still just as important in modern society, particularly in the most fundamental human grouping of all, the family.

You can’t just ‘expect’ your partner to know what you want. Even if you think they should (that dreaded word again). Just because something is blindingly obvious to you, doesn’t mean it’s blindingly obvious to your partner. You can’t assume anything. You have to speak so you are both clear about what’s going on. Whether it’s logistical matters or something more emotional, you must speak. Silence does not achieve anything.

But neither does nastiness. You do actually want your partner to listen to what you say, and they’re not going to if you’re sarcastic and condescending, if you appear to be blaming them, or if are judging them and finding them wanting. At best they’ll just tune out and ignore you; at worst they will become defensive, and once the listener becomes defensive, you’ve lost them. You might even have a full-scale fight on your hands.

It doesn’t matter how correct or right your content is, if it’s presented in a negative tone, your partner will respond to the tone rather than the content. And that is not going to get you the result you want.

You have to speak respectfully to each other. I don’t mean formally, I simply mean: appreciating the other person’s point of view, respecting that none of us is perfect, that we may not be making ourselves clear despite our best intentions, and that the listener is not ‘wrong’. Speak clearly, factually and honestly. And keep it light, practice using humour to get your point across. Gentle, light-hearted ribbing is much more effective than outright criticism:
“Darling, I appreciate the fact that you admire me so much you think I can read your mind, but I am a mere mortal, and really need you to write it down if we’ve run out of tomato sauce.” (said with a smile, not with sarcasm), is much more effective than:
“How the hell am I supposed to know we’ve run out of tomato sauce if you don’t tell me!”

What you say is one part of the communication process, and of course it’s a very important part. But it’s what they understand that counts. So even if you think you have been clear and succinct and got your message across well, you still have to make sure your partner understands what you’re saying. So much misunderstanding occurs when one person thinks they understand what the other is saying, but doesn’t. And then blame starts happening – “I told you” and “No, you didn’t, you said”, “No I didn’t, you weren’t listening…”, etc, etc. Well, chances are you did say and your partner was listening, but for whatever reason, mutual understanding didn’t occur. So check to make sure.

Listen
Listening is obviously just as important as speaking, and the skill is similar. Listen without judgement, with respect for the other person’s feelings and opinions.

And if your partner is bringing up something about you, make sure you don’t immediately become defensive. If there’s something that’s troubling your partner, listen carefully and objectively, even if their trouble is you, so that you can understand their issue and that way do something about it.

And even if they’re not doing a very good job of communicating, if they do seem to be blaming you, or if they’re being cutting and sarcastic, there’s no need for you to take it personally (hard as that may be). Do try to stay calm and objective so that you can get to the heart of the issue, rather than letting it get emotional and escalate out of hand.

Sometimes your partner will just want to let off a bit of steam, to express how they’re feeling. You don’t necessarily have to solve the problem, sometimes just sympathetic listening is enough. But if a solution is required, then work towards it.

And be sure that you have understood what they’re saying by repeating back what you think they’re conveying. Don’t assume you understand what they’re saying even if you’ve listened well. Some things are difficult to convey, and some people just aren’t very good at expressing themselves.

Product News: NEXUS male g-spot massagers are back at Maxxx Black!

Wednesday, September 14th, 2011

You asked for it and so Nexus, makers of some of the finest men’s pleasure and health products, is back at MaXXX Black!

NEXUS prostate massagers and vibes are designed specifically for the male body. For guys, the g-spot is actually the Prostate gland, and whether its for health or pleasure its an area that ALL men should be looking after.

Prostate massage is an age-old form of procuring a healthy prostate and achieving deeper orgasmic pleasure for men by helping a man reach a male g-spot orgasm. The Nexus range of male g-spot massagers are stimulating devices for the male g-spot (sometimes we call it a P-Spot).

It works by stimulating this walnut sized gland, which is called a prostate massage. Prostate massage has been used for centuries for two purposes – intense sexual pleasure, and improving the health of the prostate gland.

All products in the Nexus range are designed to do both of these things with ease, but most are used by our customers as a fun, and deeply pleasurable, adult toy.

MaXXX Black has already introduced 4 of these fantastic toys with even more coming in the next week or so – just in time for the summer season!

In Stock right now are:

(click the pic to see the link)

Events: Fuck Cancer: Raising The Roof For Cancer Treatment

Tuesday, September 13th, 2011

MaXXX Black is proud to be a local supporter for a very special cause. This Friday, September 16, ‘Fuck Cancer’ will be raising the roof of the Imperial Hotel Erskineville to help raise some dollars for cancer treatment.

So What’s Happening On The Night?

Master of F*cking Ceremonies – The fabulous and foul mouthed Miss Lauren LaRouge! She’s been looking for the opportunity to swear at f*cking cancer and I’m happy to provide her the night to do it!

F*CKING BANDS!:
The Licks
http://www.myspace.com/thelicksmusic

Howler
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Howler/119456624764664

Ed Worland & The Greens Teas
http://www.facebook.com/edworland?sk=app_178091127385

Bandintexas
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Bandintexas/119223588149617

The Upskirts
http://www.facebook.com/TheUpskirts?sk=app_178091127385

Dave Hammond
http://www.myspace.com/davehammond

F*CKING BURLESQUE & PERFORMANCE ART!:

  • Glitta Supernova (Burlesque)
  • Betty Grumble (Burlesque)
  • Sheena Miss Demeanour (Burlesque)
  • Cherry Lush (Burlesque)
  • Defy & Firefly (Acrobatics)
  • Lucille Spielfuchs (Burlesque)
  • Anna Felactic (Burlesque)
  • Frankie Faux (Burlesque)
  • Delilah DuMoan (Burlesque)
  • Legs 11.11 (Burlesque)
  • Talula Papoose (Burlesque)

AND MORE ACTS TO COME! WOW IT”S GONNA BE HUGE!

PLUS!! Magic by Manik Jones and Live Art by Lucille Lehr!

There will be a raffle with some fantastic prizes as well as live art created by Lucille Lehr to be auctioned on the night!

This is going to be a night to remember folks so don’t bloody miss out!

This can be your good deed of 2011! Go on and earn those f*cking wings!

So what’s “Fuck Cancer” all about?

Breoni Taylor, a good friend of my close friend, was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer. This diagnosis occurred after being incorrectly diagnosed with irritable bowel for the previous 4 years.

Since the diagnosis she had a successful bowel rissectomy where the primary tumor was removed and so was 3/4’s of her large bowel. Unfortunately, during this operation the surgeons found a tumor on each of her ovaries.

In the doctors words, they concluded that Bre was ‘simply unlucky’ and maybe if she was to have her ovaries removed and more chemotherapy, it may stop the cancer from spreading to other places. Or perhaps it was time to ‘give up the fight’.

Bre has investigated other cancer treatments, because, believe it or not, people can and do survive cancer.

As of July, Bre is a patient at the NIIM (Australian Institute of Integrated Medicine in Burwood Rd Hawthorn and is being treated by a team which is headed up by Professor Sali (if interested, I encourage you to google Prof Sali and NIIM). Very shortly, she is about to commence some integrated cancer treatment at NIIM, but this treatment though widely used successfully in Europe for treating cancer isn’t recognized in Australia and not covered by Medicare.

The costs are around $11,000.

This fundraiser is to help raise money towards this alternative cancer treatment for Bre – she’s not ready to give up the fight and although I don’t know her well, I’ve been really inspired by her story. Life is such a precious thing and I think we are all guilty of taking it for granted sometimes. What if you were in Bre’s shoes?

Gallery: RodeoH – The New Way To Strap It On!

Saturday, September 10th, 2011

RodeoH strap on briefs are the hottest new addition to our strap it on department in almost a year and to celebrate we thought we’d share this hot photo shoot from RodeoH.

RodeoH are exclusive to MaXXX Black and we just love them. Plus at under $60 they have to be the most affordable strap on harnesses out there – and they’re not unlike any harness we’ve had before!

Click an Image to Enlarge. Click HERE to see them in our store!

MaXXX Black On Australia’s Next Top Model (ANTM)

Friday, September 9th, 2011

If you’re a fan of Australia’s Next Top Model (and who isn’t?) you may have seen a little photoshoot on the show that featured some of our sexiest fashion and hosiery items.

The ‘Lady Gaga / Coffin” shoot required some dark, sexy and thoroughly adult items to complete the look of 5 of the girls on the day – and we were all too happy to help out.

Click on the thumbs below to see how it turned out.

Find out more about the show by clicking HERE.

NEW: The Ultimate Guide To Orgasms For Women

Thursday, September 8th, 2011

Every now and again a book arrives at MB and takes our breath away – The Ultimate Guide To Orgasms For Women by Mikaya Heart did that….and more!

This fantastic volume takes the ‘ultimate guide’ series and turns it on its head – it’s not just about the physical, it’s also about the energetic, the spiritual, the emotional, your relationships and what works, what doesn’t – and why!

Mikaya Heart talks about womens’ experiences in a genuine and engaging way that is easy to relate to and even better to learn from. Her holistic approach makes it genuinely empowering and our reviewers have all said that it can make a positive impact on you within just the first 20 pages!

All of our staff here are madly reading this book – it has become one the MaXXX Black ‘bibles’.

We believe this is an essential read for all women (and those who love them). We’ll be posting a full review soon and you can read more about the book by visiting the webstore HERE.

There’s also a strong possibility of Mikaya holdinga couple of VIP workshops right here in Sydney in December 2011. If you’re interested in taking part, please drop us a line via info@maxxxblack.com with your email phone and name details.