When I met my partner we were both on vacation with groups of other people. By the time we got to kiss for the first time, the trip was over. He was on his way back to Melbourne, and I was bound for Sydney. This may have been the end of it all, except for the fact that we had successfully exchanged phone numbers. Little did I know that this would turn into my first phone sex experience ever.
In the beginning I was nervous because I barely knew him, but we were both so into each other that eventually my prudishness flew out the window and I became an expert. Now that we’ve been together for years, we still enjoy a fun roll over the 3G when we’re apart for any length of time. Without getting too graphically specific, here are some tips to having great sex over the phone.
The most important thing to remember when you’re having sex on the phone is that your ‘lover’ can’t see you. Real sex has a big visual component which is suddenly missing from the equation. The best way to get around this challenge is to be as descriptive as possible. I’m not saying you have to bust out the dictionary, but certain key phrases will do the trick (think hot, wet, soft). Next, always be specific about your target audience – namely, him! Finish your descriptions with a reminder that it’s all because of him that you feel this way, and you wish you could be there in person to show him how much you miss his touch.
Just like anything in a relationship, communication is the key to great phone sex. Especially during “foreplay”, keep talking. Use a sexy, sultry, almost whispery tone of voice to describe your virtual journey of exploring his body from his shoulders, across his chest and over his belly and down…you get the picture. When you get ‘down’ to the nitty-gritty, pretend you’re actually there in person and describe what you’re doing. “I’m stroking you now,” goes a lot further than, say, “If I were there, I would…” Things are getting hot and heavy now, so there’s no time to be worrying about whether or not you’re talking in the conditional future.
Bringing it Home
Pardon the euphemism, but it generally is the ultimate goal of phone sex to have a fantastic orgasm. And the great thing about long distance nookie is that you’re actually pleasuring yourself, so you not only know exactly what you like, but you also know when you’re going to reach the point of no return. You can use this to your advantage to reach the finish line together in one ecstatic collective moan. When you’re both done, you need to say the same things you would say if you were actually in bed together, about how much you enjoyed it, and that you’re imagining putting your head on his shoulder and falling asleep.
Whether it’s a new fling or a long distance relationship, learning how to have great phone sex works wonders for keeping you and your partner satisfied. Once you get over the initial shyness, you’ll find the words will just flow off your tongue, and in the heat of the moment, you won’t care if you sometimes talk over each other and things get a little ‘messy’. Sex is supposed to be that way!