Archive for February, 2011

NEW PRODUCT: Pjur Back Door Comfort Spray

Saturday, February 26th, 2011

We talk to people all the time about not using a desensitiser on the area ‘back there’ when they want to explore anal play. If you read our article a couple of days ago you’ll know even more than most. But we’ll stick to the good news here:

Pjur, makers of some of our favourite lubricants, have launched an all new product that is designed with your comfort and safety in mind. And we love it!

Pjur Back Door Anal Comfort Spray was specifically developed for play from behind. The active ingredients are formulated to make the skin and tissue significantly more elastic – which means you can do things you’ve never done before and feel the full benefit of great anal play. Lauromacrogol slightly desensitises because it helps to relax the anal sphincter for better sensations without numbing. The addition of Penthenol gives Pjur Back Door Spray it’s relaxing effect without the use of benzocaine or lidocaine. Plus it’s condom-safe!

If you’ve been looking for a way to extend your play this is the product ot try. It’s relaxing, soothing and comforting, and when used in combination with a good lubricant (Pjur Back Door Silicone works great with it – but any lube will do) then this is the one to try.

3 Popular Sex Products We Say NO To…

Friday, February 25th, 2011

They’ve been on the market so long that many people don’t know they may not be good for them – let us share with you the big 3 No-No’s!

1. KY Jelly

Ok, so it’s not the only personal lubricant out there that contains so many chemicals it resembles a public pool, but it is the most recognisable, the most marketed, the most hyped, and the most easily found.  So it leads the discussion at MaXXX Black more than any other lube on the supermarket/pharmacy shelf. So many people ask for it by name it scares us. Why is it so bad?

Old school lubricants like KY-Jelly were developed for use in the medical field, not for sexual pleasure or sexual activity. Typically it was, and is, used to lubricate instruments like scopes, thermometers and catheters prior to insertion.

The reason is gets on our NO list is because, despite thousands of reasons why they shouldn’t, Johnson and Johnson still make KY-Jelly with lots of petro-chemical ingredients,  hydroxyethylcellulose, and more importantly – glycerin.

Glycerin is a ‘sugar-alcohol’ that helps make KY taste sweeter. Yeast feeds on sugar. So if you are prone to yeast infections KY could actually make it worse.

Hydroxyethylcellulose is used as a thickener and to reduce the foaming nature of other ingredients in the product. Unfortunately more and more people are finding they are sensitive to this ingredient with reports of side effects including itching, burning, hives and swelling. It is an ingredient that should not be consumed or absorbed by women who are pregnant or nursing.

The good news is that if you haven’t experienced discomfort from mainstream lubricants than you probably aren’t allergic or hypersensitive to them. But if you want to err on the side of caution we suggest you stick to natural or glycerin and paraben free products.

2. Anal-Ease

There has always been a fascination with playing ‘back there’. Now we’re sure you know it can be an area that is very sensitive needs lots of careful foreplay for pleasurable activities. But since we humans can get carried away with our eagerness for new things we sometimes want to skip ahead a few steps and go for broke.

Problem is that can cause all sorts of pain and as a result there are lots of companies out there producing sprays, lotions and topical solutions that claim to make it “easy”.

One of the best known is Anal-Ease. Anal Ease is a lubricant (of which there are many) and spray that is marketed for anal sex and contains a numbing agent. Usually Lidocaine or Benzocaine. Sound familiar? It should. It’s usually what your dentist uses to numb you before coming at you with a drill.

Now anal sex should not be painful. If it hurts, STOP. Pain is your body’s way of telling you that whatever you’re soing isn’t the right thing. Listen to your body. Go slow, work up to penetration, add lots of lube and talk to your partner about what they are doing and what feels right (and wrong).

Numbing agents like Anal Ease literally numb your backside and therefore put you in danger of hurting yourself.  Using products like these often lead people to go farther, harder and do more than they normally would and that can cause all manner of nightmares. We won’t go into the real yucky detail but you can imagine everything with one word – tearing.

Besides exercising the area with gentle-sized toys and regular light play, plus the right lubricant, there are other alternatives to products like Anal Ease. One of the latest is Pjur Back Door Comfort Spray.

Pjur Back Door Anal Comfort Spray was specifically developed for play from behind. The active ingredients are formulated to make the skin and tissue significantly more elastic – which means you can do things you’ve never done before and feel the full benefit of great anal play.

Lauromacrogol slightly desensitises because it helps to relax the anal sphincter for better sensations without numbing. The addition of Penthenol gives Pjur Back Door Spray it’s relaxing effect without the use of benzocaine or lidocaine. Plus it’s condom-safe!

Top Gun For Men Herbal Extracts Is Dangerous3. Herbal Viagra

These are found under the counter (and sometimes on it in plain view) in adult stores across the country. They usually claim to be a completely herbal natural supplement that will work like the major erectile drugs Viagra, Cialis and Levitra.

The problem is – the are not what they claim to be.

Marketed under names like Niagra, Naturamaz, Nymphomax, Levitrax and Top Gun, they all claim some all-natural formulation that will work just like one of the major drugs. The issue we have with them is threefold:

  1. Most do not have Therapeutic Goods Administration approval – so you don’t know they have been tested for safety.
  2. They are often laced with the real thing.
  3. They contain other ingredients that for a healthy person can cause big problems.

The reason you need to go to a GP to get a presecription for erectile drugs is that they can all trigger other health issues. If you have any heart, liver or kidney issues the major drugs can be a big problem indeed. You woudn’t want a heart attack in the middle of your session now would you? There is no telling what drug or how much of it will be in the ‘herbal’ pills unlike the prescription ones which your doctor can monitor.

The other thing is that erectile drugs increase the production of Testosterone in the body. If your testosterone levels are normal then these products will spike them above average which can lead to hyper-aggression for up to 48 hours after you take the pill.

There are perfectly safe natural alternatives available at your local health food store and even in some supermarkets. These have been tested for safety and can be very effective – not just for erections but also for that happy horny feeling too. If in doubt we highly recommend talking to a naturopath about the options. There is one in every natural health food store.

Price:
$39.00
Qty:

Designed To Make Sex Better!

Pjur, makers of some of our favourite lubricants, have launched an all new product that is designed with your comfort and safety in mind. And we love it!

Pjur Back Door Anal Comfort Spray was specifically developed for play from behind. The active ingredients are formulated to make the skin and tissue significantly more elastic – which means you can do things you’ve never done before and feel the full benefit of great anal play.

Lauromacrogol slightly desensitises because it helps to relax the anal sphincter for better sensations without numbing. The addition of Penthenol gives Pjur Back Door Spray it’s relaxing effect without the use of benzocaine or lidocaine. Plus it’s condom-safe!

Jacqueline Hellyer: Love Thy Partner

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

That might sound obvious, of course you should love your partner. But do you really? And if you so, how do you express that love? Are you treating your partner like your lover? Or are you treating them as your spouse/co-parent/boss/subordinate/flat-mate/carer/dependant/provider/nurturer…?

There are only two true feelings in life: love and fear. All the negative emotions are essentially some expression of fear. Anger comes from fear: so if you are narky or nagging or irritated or down right furious with your partner, you are expressing fear. Oppression comes from fear; so if you are controlling your partner, or allowing yourself to be controlled by them, you are expressing fear. And boredom comes from fear; so if you are allowing yourself to become stuck in a rut and not seek enjoyment in life, then you are expressing fear.

That fear comes from within. You are projecting your fear onto your partner in the form of anger, oppression/being oppressed and/or boredom. It comes from you.

To turn that around and allow yourself to truly love your partner, requires you to transform your fear into love. You have to own your fear and your expression of that fear, and then let it go. Allow the love in to yourself and allow it to flow out of yourself.

True love, not love based on fear, which many people mistake for love, is both strong and gentle. It’s forgiving and accepting and all-encompassing. As the fear goes the love fills up the space and the world becomes a different place.

The world really does need love, yet the media and the politicians and even the most well-meaning of people project fear out into the world, which only increases the negative. So it’s up to us to do the work on ourselves and in our closest relationships. That includes family and friends and colleagues, but most importantly it means that most primary of connections, your partner in life. This is the person with whom you have the extraordinary gift of being able to be completely open with, to the extent of sharing sexual intimacy. Nothing is as raw and vulnerable and truly open as real sexual intimacy (which is why so few people can experience it without a lot of application). Nothing else requires such a removal of fear and replacement with love. Your bedroom is the practice ground for love. Allow it there and transform the world.

Love thy neighbour – start with thy partner.
Sydney sex therapist

News: Inner West Live Reviews MB!

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

We love good press, especially when it comes from someone local, and it doesn’t get more local than Inner West Live!

If you haven’t heard of this brilliant website you musn’t live in the Inner West of Sydney (which is where MaXXX lives).

Inner West Live is a Blogosphere, social hub and general everything Inner West designed by Inner West people, for the Inner West. Contributors can come from anywhere in the area and can comment on anything.

The Inner West is a social, community and music hub of Australia. It’s one of the few places where multicultural diversity, sexuality, personality and academia all blend into one big area. An area of true acceptance, the Inner West celebrates the fact that it doesnt care about what you have or how you dress . .. they just like you as you, no matter how freaky you want to be (our kinda ppl)

The Inner West Live team consists of a group of local bloggers, community people, musicians and anyone else who wants to join in on the fun and frivolity.

If you want to know what’s happening in Sydney’s most dynamic area this is the place to look!

Go to Inner West Live

See the Review of MaXXX Black HERE.

A Simple Guide to Sex Toys For Men

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

At Maxxx Black we maintain a great reputation for having a wide selection of toys aimed for woman and couples. But often we hear the boys yell- what about them!? Well guys, we love you just as much, so here is the guide to the best boys toys in town.

Rubber Cock Ring 3 Pack

O Rings (or cock rings)

For the man that isn’t sure where to start, O-rings are a great place to begin. Cock rings are a small ring made from various materials, but more popularly silicone, leather and metal. They can be cheap as chips or luxuriously pricey – so there’s something for every taste and budget.

They are designed to be worn either around the base of the penis, or around both the penis and the scrotum, and their main function is to restrict a small amount of blood flow, which in turn sustains a longer and harder erection.

As well as this functionality, cock rings are also available with a vibrating bullet attachment. Not only does this turn you into a life size vibrator, but the added clitoral stimulation for your lady means more VOOM in your thrust.

LELO Tor - Men's Ring

LELO Tor Vibe Ring $150

S-Wet Endurance 9 Speed Cockring

SWet 9 Speed Couples Ring

5 Snap Leather Cock Ring - 15mm wide

5 Snap Leather O Ring $25

…..

Sleeves and Solo Units

Just as women have vibrators and dildos for solo play, we introduce you to some of the best Mens Sex Sleeves and Simulators.  Sex toy sleeves are not only a great way to add incredible variety to your solo play, but used well they can even help to build his sexual stamina and staying power.  Made with many different textures, each brand has features that you can experiment freely with to discover what feels best for you.

One of the most well known brands of sleeves is the FleshLight. In the last few years it has grown to become the world’s number 1 selling men’s pleasure toy, and for good reason. Discreetly encased in a torch-like shell is the incredible Real Feel Super Skin ® insert, creating an incredibly life-like sensation.  Available in a variety of forms (Mouth, Lady and Butt), great for the gentleman who wants something realistic and masculine.

Fairly new to Australia is the Tenga line of products. Tenga is one of those fantastic lines that represent the ultimate in Japanese technology. These are definately for the techie in your life. There are LOTS of little sleeves, eggs and pouches and each one is designed to give a unique sensation or feel like a particular sexual position.  With slick, discreet designs these are definitely toys making a splash on the market. In addition they come in quick one-off play toys, multi-use sleeves, and the new top-of-the-line Flip Hole!

Stop Press: Tenga was used by the winner of the 2010 World Solo Play Challenge!

Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit

Fleshlight Stamina $160

Tenga Flip Hole White

Tenga Flip Hole $160

Tenga Egg - Spider

Tenga Egg $18

P-Spot

P-spot stimulation can be one of the most intensely pleasurable sexual feelings a man can experience, and there are a range of toys that will help you discover, develop, and enjoy your p-spot even more.

The male equivalent of the females G spot, The P Spot is located internally as part of the prostate gland in the lower rectum. This is an area rich with blood and nerves and is tender to the touch, but is most effect in reaching orgasm and ejaculation.

P Spot toys come in a range of Silicone and Steel, as well as vibration and non vibration. Proven to have some very positive health benefits, Prostate stimulation can aid in the prevention of Prostate cancer in later life.  So not only is it fun, but good for you too!

Toys such as the Tantus ProTouch is a great introductory toy for first time P spot players. Small, smooth and curved to hit that perfect spot, it comes with its own little bullet vibe to give you that added zing. Great fun for both boys and girls alike!

LELO BOB - Silicone Anal Pleasure Toy

LELO Bob $70

Tantus Pro Touch Vibrating Butt Plug

Tantus Pro Touch $55

Rocks Off Naughty Boy Anal Vibrator

Naughty Boy Vibe $110

Two Ways To Get Them.

So there you have it boys. Don’t forget to come in store or jump online and have a look at what we have ready for you to take home!

Mardi Gras Fair Day Tomorrow!

Saturday, February 19th, 2011

Everyone’s favourite picnic in the park is back and better than ever! Kicking off the official Mardi Gras season, this year’s Fair Day promises a fun and relaxed day out with your friends and family, even your pets!

Up to 70,000 people turn out from across Sydney and the Globe to revel in the beauty of Victoria Park – which will be transformed by hundreds of stalls, a plethora of delicacies at the myriad of food outlets, and dozens of events on the day.

Some of the Mardi Gras festivals’ best talents will entertain the crowds from the Foxtel Main Stage, including some special guests and emerging Australian talent. But there will be plenty of colour away from the stages too, with the day boasting a range of entertaining activities for everyone.

Hailed as a great success last year, the Gaydar Garden Lounge is back by popular demand, providing a relaxed space to kick back, have a drink and listen to live sounds from an exclusive selection of DJs. The perky pooches of Dulcie’s Dog Show, presented by Eagle Pack Petfood, are also back to vie for the esteemed title of best dressed mutt. And for the little ones, there are exciting rides, the Fair Day playground plus a host of activities for endless fun in the sun.

Fair Day is also where many of our community groups get together. The bears have their tree, the dykes their bikes, the sports teams their tug-o-war and much more. Key community organisations will also be handing out handy information packs – so you won’t be leaving empty handed! You might discover a newfound hobby or a cause you’re passionate about.

This year, Fair Day also welcomes the New Mardi Gras Hub, a space to discover what’s hot this Mardi Gras season and to find out more about the New Mardi Gras organisation, what they do and how you can get involved. Make sure to pop by and sign up for exclusive member news and updates.

Remember, Fair Day is a fundraising event, so to help them keep the ‘fair’ in Fair Day, gold coin donations to the friendly Fair Day volunteers located at each entrance would be greatly appreciated.

And don’t forget we’ll be open until midnight on Sunday, so if you’re coming back through Newtown afterwards, why not drop in and say hi?!

Where: Victoria Park, Cnr of City Rd & Parramatta Rd, Chippendale. 10am – 8pm.

Get Your Kit Off For Cosmo! (in the name of body love)

Friday, February 18th, 2011

Cosmopolitan Magazine Australia is about to do a brilliant new feature on body love and they need some couples to help them spread the ‘body-positive’ message.

They’re looking for heterosexual couples between the ages of 20-31 who would be willing to pose naked (no frontal of course) and be interviewed about the way they feel about their bodies and what they think about their partner’s body.

The shoot will take place in the next 2-3 weeks on a weekday so you’ll need to be able to make it to their Park St Sydney offices. Along with professional hair and make-up the whole thing will take a maximum of 2 hours.

They want couples of all shapes and sizes so if you’re interested you need to do the following:

Email a couple of photos along with a short description of yourselves, your relationship and how you feel about your bodies to mwranik@acpmagazines.com.au. Make sure you include your dates of birth and occupations.

Good luck, and we’ll see you in the glossy pages!

Why & Where: The G Spot

Thursday, February 17th, 2011

It’s been called a myth (big lie), it’s been celebrated by millions, and it’s still being discovered for the first time by women all over the world. The G-Spot has the power to baffle, bewilder and more importantly, delight. Below we share the images and information that we explain to first-time customers many times every day.

Firstly, EVERY woman has a G-Spot. It’s the Urethral Sponge, and it is located inside the vagina.

Location

Located on the front side of the vagina, about the average length from the tip of your finger to the second knuckle.

The G-Spot is a zone about 1 to 2 inches in diameter, closest to the clitoris. You’ll feel a change in the texture of the vaginal wall.

Arousal

Before you start – tinkle – you’ll be much more comfortable during play. Then, start with some foreplay. Foreplay is ESSENTIAL. The sensitivity of the g-spot and clitoral arousal are closely linked, so starting with some focus on the clitoris is a great way to begin exploration.

When you feel you have reached a state of arousal through some clitoral play, then it is time to go for the g-spot. G-Spot stimulii requires a firm pressure – use a strong touch or a solid/firm sex toy.

Toys & Lube

G-Spot toys need to be firm, slightly curved and look like they can reach up like a finger in a ‘come here’ gesture. Size does not really matter – it’s the angle and pressure that is important.

Your sexploration will be much easier with the right kind of lubricant. Lube makes everything more sensual and tactile and will help increase your sensitivity and pleasure.

Why & Where: The Clitoris Explained

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

Sometimes it’s the basics that get people confused. One of the major things we do here everyday at MaXXX Black is educate men and women about their bodies.  We try to give you as much information as possible about the enjoyment of sex, and a big part of that is knowing your bodies.

The information and images below are what we use many times every day, and you may be surprised to know that 95% of our first-time customers have never seen them before. Today is all about the…

1. Female Anatomy

The Clitoris

Located where the labia meet at the top of the vulva, the clitoris is the most sensitive part of the female genitals. It is situated beneath a thin protective fold of tissue called the clitoral hood (or prepuce). The glands here are dense with nerve endings (about

twice as many as are in the penis!) and can be incredibly sensitive to touch. Some women may even find it direct stimulation too intense without sufficient arousal (that’s foreplay).

Contrary to popular belief the clitoris doesn’t stop there. It extends down a shaft into a wishbone shape called the

Crura (picture 2). Each ‘leg’ is about 3 inches in length and lie directly beneath the labia.

Arousal

When a woman becomes aroused, the clitoral shaft becomes erect and engorges with blood. Then the ligaments (corpus cavernosum) pull the clitoral head into the hood for protection. The crura then engorge and as such are possible to stimulate through penetration.

Most women find that direct stimulation to the clitoris, increasing the speed and pressure over time, is the best way to reach orgasm.

Pic 2 -The Clitoris (Internal View)

However, every body is different, so it’s very important for women to experiment with and explore their bodies.

Finding what works best for you can help you reach your sexual potential.

Vibrators & the Clitoris

Vibrating toys are an ideal way to explore and discover your clitoris and how it works for you. From gentle exploration to intense stimulation (& everything in between) a vibe can help you and your partner get to know your body and achieve better sex with deeper satisfaction. Don’t forget to pick up a good quality lubricant (NO KY) to use with your toy. It will make your play so much easier, sexier and satisfying.

Jacqueline Hellyer: Your Great Sex Project

Tuesday, February 15th, 2011

I wrote recently about the importance of prioritising sex. Now that the new year is here, let’s consider this more carefully. What does it take to prioritise sex? Can I suggest you commit to a Year of Great Sex! Let’s call it the ‘Your Great Sex’ Project. Whether you’re single or partnered, we can all focus on our love life and on our love of life. They are interconnected. Sex is about self and about true expression of self. The process of improving your sex life is intimately connected to improving your relationship with the whole of life, primarily as it makes you know yourself better and express yourself better.

The Great Sex Project for Couples:

I wrote a blog post last month on the topic of Consensual Non-Monotony. It’s a play on words as I’d written one the week before on Consensual Non-Monogamy. The latter was on how to have a successful non-monogamous relationship, but since most people would like to be monogamous, the trick is to overcome the biggest problem with long-term monogamous relationships – monotony. Hence the term Consensual Non-Monotony. The point here is it’s got to be consensual, that is, you both have to agree to be non-monotonous, you both have to agree to do what it takes to have an on-going great sex life. Make it a project! Why not? You have renovation projects together, holiday projects together, get healthier projects together, so why not add to it a better sex project.

If you don’t, there probably won’t be much improvement, in fact, the monotony could continue on and on and on and on and on… How many more years till you die…?

There are three stages to this project:
1) Know what you want
2) Communicate what you want
3) Make it happen

The first is about understanding your eroticism – what you like and don’t like, where and how and when. This is important. A number of my blog posts will help you with this, in particular Expanding Your Sexual Play Pt.1: What.

The second stage is the most important – you have to be able to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about sex. This isn’t easy, particularly for many women (who tend to be great at communciating in all other areas of life!). However, I’ve noticed in my work with couples that one of the benefits of therapy is that people get used to talking about sex with each other. Once they get to that point, the miracles start happening… For help on your own, read my blog post Expanding Your Sexual Play Pt.2: How, which covers communication.

The third stage is obvious, but not necessarily easy. There’s no point just talking about it, you have to make it happen. This will involve ditching myths and making lifestyle changes. My last blog was on the topic of ditching myths, read it here. And for help on the lifestyle changes, read my blog post Love in the Time of Chaos, or my book Sex Secrets for Busy People.

And then the cycle repeats, because what you want and how you feel is constantly changing, so you need to constantly reevaluate, communicate and change. Forever.

The Great Sex Project for Singles:

It’s the same for singles. You make the commitment to better sex, and then go through the same stages:

1) Get clear about what you like.
2) Be open about communicating this with new love interests.
3) Make the changes you need to be able to do this.

If you need any therapy or coaching to help you on the way, well, you know where to find me!