Archive for December, 2010

Gallery: Real Farmers Calendar!

Thursday, December 30th, 2010

German calendar maker Bauernkalender has been knocking out hot calendars for over a decade now and usually we don’t take much notice of calendars – there are SO many every year we could run galleries for months.

But the latest line of calendars from Bauernkalender made us sit up and notice, not least because they use real guys doing what they do and not another AFL team or football player (we are OVER Harry). This year’s print features farmers from all over Europe – from the bonny highlands of Scotland to the wilds of the Czech republic.

We think they’re adorable – and they’re here for your viewing pleasure…

Guide: Introduction to BDSM – The Basics

Tuesday, December 28th, 2010

Ever been in the throws of passion while making love and pinned your partners wrists down? Perhaps the idea of being spanked over your lovers knee gets you excited? Chances are you want to explore the world of kink. But how do you explore it in a safe and non intimidating way? Here are some basic BDSM and kink 101 tips to help you get started on creating your fantasies in the bedroom (or anywhere else that takes your fancy)

  • Communication: Talk with your lover before you run out and spend hundreds of dollars on whips and cuffs. Communication is the key to any relationship, and even more so with BDSM. Finding out each others kinks and turn ons is an exciting and liberating process in itself. Have a romantic dinner, give your lover a sensual massage and gently whisper how you want them to gently pull your hair while making love. Setting the mood whist giving a partner an insight into your desires is the best way to keep the mood flowing.
  • Starting small: So you have read the erotic novels. You have dogged eared the ‘how to’ books. Its still probably not a good idea to throw on a collar and leash and crawl around naked when your loved one gets home from work…chances are they are more likely to be either shocked or run for the camera, leaving a very sour taste to your fantasy. It never hurt anyone to start small…in fact when it comes to BDSM it’s the best approach. Keep a small bit of silk next to your bed and next time the passion is just right, loosely tie their hands above their head. Or tell them you have been a bad girl (or boy) and you deserve a spanking. You might be surprised by their encouraging response!
  • Equipment: Paddles, canes and rope may sound fun at first, but in unexperienced and nervous hands they can cause some problems. Start simple. Every day items lying around the bedroom can easily be turned into kinky accessories. Your favourite silk scarf works as a great sensual blind fold, that tie you bought him last Christmas will surely have new meaning when he is tying your hands up with it, and lets not forget our favourite toy, hands for the perfect spanking.When your ready to take the next step and start experimenting with rope and cuffs, here at Maxxx we sell Sensual Starter kits, including cuffs and blindfolds. For you real naughty experimenters we have Beginner Bondage Kits, including cuffs, rope and a delightful rubber ball gag.
  • Safety: Know yours and your partners limits. Have a safety word to let your partner know if you want to take things down a notch. Its fun to test your limits, but remember to take things slow and never push so far that you risk putting either of you in any harm. Take note of the BDSM Mantra: Safe, Sane and Consensual.

We here at Maxxx Black sell an amazing range of BDSM equipment and Books for beginners right up to your lifestyle players. Some of our favourite literature to check out are “The Wild Side Of Sex” _ By Midori and “How to be Kinky” By Morpheous

Happy Spankings!

Fun: How To Write A Romance Novel

Monday, December 27th, 2010

1. Choose a setting

Remember that your setting sets the mood for the entire piece, and can, if you’re feeling particularly literary (or just want to seem like you know about books and stuff), serve as a metaphor for one or more of your characters. Your best bets are:

a) A mist-swaddled small town with a cast of off-beat townsfolk.—excellent for harboring a dark secret.  A good choice if you want to go for an “American Gothic” feel.

b) The wind-ravaged highland moors, which call to mind rugged long-haired warrior types and sweeping tales of passion.

c) A genteel manse in the antebellum South; like the mist-swaddled small town, these are good, “normal” covers for all kinds of steamy intrigue, though be warned that a Southern manse is always in danger of burning down in the story’s climax. Extra points for combining settings A and C.

d) A ship on the high seas. A bunch of seamen for our nubile young heroine to play with. I mean, do you really need me to spell this one out for you?

2. Choose your female lead

She has to be beautiful, of course, but not in such a way where she is aware of her beauty. It’s especially good if she’s got some sort of complex about her appearance, so that the male lead can assure her of how gorgeous she truly is. Any major differentiation between your female lead and any other female characters should also be based primarily on looks. Extra points for making her, despite all her rippling woman-bits, a virgin. In such case, she should have a skanky antagonist. Since this is a romance novel, her main character points should go no deeper than her looks, while her personality can be summed up as one of a few types:

a) A spoiled, sheltered heiress used to a life of luxury and entertainment. She’s not a bad person, but her lack of real-world experience makes her squealy, squeamish and easily offended by most people, places and foods. Her interests can be little dogs, shopping, and whining about how no one gives her what she wants.

b) A fiery-tempered noblewoman who rebels against the societal expectations of her day. Her interests can be sexual curiosity, walking around without enough petticoats and complaining about having to embroider things.

c) A conservative, sexually repressed woman who avoids courtship and marriage like the plague. Her dowdy, dull clothing, of course, must conceal a super-hot physique underneath. Extra points if she has a bunch of boy-crazy sisters of whom she disapproves.

d) A down-trodden yet beautiful servant girl who dreams of true love and a life outside cleaning up pig shit. This character type is the most purely “good” in that she can usually be seen nursing sick children and/or animals in her spare time, and, since she’s uncorrupted by money, has no ambition other than love.

3. Choose your male lead

He is, of course, just as physically attractive as the female lead. Extra points if you use the words “devilishly,” “wolfishly,” or “mischievously” when describing his facial expressions. He should compliment the female lead accordingly. Since these kinds of romance novels are typically aimed at women, and attempt to recreate some kind of female masturbatory fantasy, it is imperative that the female be chosen first, and the male chosen to suit her character’s needs.  He should also be, like, really, really, rich. If it’s fitting with your setting, he should be a Lord or a Baron of something. This list corresponds with the above. Feel free, of course, to make any necessary adjustments, but be careful not to stray too far from the formula. Then people might have to start thinking, and no one wants to do that while reading a romance novel.

a) A clever, quick-witted sort who knows how to survive and thrive, especially in bizarre scenarios. He enjoys sneaking around, associating with shady characters and surviving unlikely circumstances. He’s a good match for the spoiled heiress because of his real-world experience; he gets to save her a lot, as well as dispense wisdom about adaptability and reserving judgment of others.  He seems like an average person, which makes the heiress have contempt for him, but in reality he should be heir to vast stores of money and/or property.

b) An equally fiery nobleman who also eschews noble daintiness in favor of big game hunting and eating large joints of meat. This character is perfect for getting in screaming, dish-throwing matches with the fiery noblewoman character, and can stand up to a lot of abuse. This one doesn’t have to be particularly smart, as long as he can wield a mutton drumstick, a mace, and a fiery noblewoman with the same ease. Despite his contempt for book learning and refined culture, he should be the holder of vast stores of money and/or property.

c) A morally ambiguous stranger with a wild streak who lives without society’s rules, which he’ll refer to as “oppressive.” He likes to do things that would make a conservative, repressed woman blush—drink, smoke, gamble, and talk about past sexual exploits, all preferably in the company of the repressed woman herself. Of course, he is secretly in possession of vast stores of money and/or property.

d) A good and kind nobleman who is capable of looking beyond society’s obsession with class and noticing the smokin’ hot milkmaid (or whatever she is). Like the servant girl herself, this character is also the most straightforwardly “good,” Extra points if his character’s struggles involve trying to stay morally afloat in a corrupt society. Needless to say, he has access to vast stores of money and/or property.

e) Extra points if any of the above characters are vampires.

4. Your characters must now interact

Typically, the best way for them to meet is by chance. Base this event off the setting of the story, and go from there. The important thing about your characters’ interaction is that they must not like each other at first. In fact the whole first third of the novel should be dedicated to explaining how much your characters don’t like each other. A good template to follow is this: he thinks she’s spoiled, boring, stupid, flighty and annoying, and she thinks he’s rude, uncivilized, arrogant, shocking and annoying. Of course neither of them can stop thinking about the other. This template works well for the A, B, and C type characters, but for the D types you can follow a very straightforward love-at-first-sight formula. Extra points if he has to fight against the urge to suck her blood.

5. The conflict

The conflict should threaten to separate the love interests for all eternity, and/or threaten any and all vast stores of money and/or property. Mention can be made of other consequences of the conflict, like widespread death and destruction, but try not to make it too much of a bummer. This is, after all, a romance novel.

a) Hero betrothed to another woman. She should be the antithesis of the heroine, including in how she looks and dresses. She should be attractive in a sleazy kind of way, but nowhere near as good-looking as the heroine. If your heroine is morally upright, chaste and demure, the woman to whom the hero is betrothed should be morally depraved, sluttish and have no social grace.

b) Heroine betrothed to another man. Similar to the above, this man should be everything the hero is not. If the hero is brave, true, and noble, this other man should be weak, corrupt and plotting. Extra points if he is twice the heroine’s age and still lusts after her.

c) Civil unrest. This can take a lot of forms. It can be an invasion by a foreign country or feuding clan, a semi-historical event (the kind that result in Southern manses being burned down), or a natural disaster. This provides a good emotional backdrop, excellent scenery opportunities, and a feeling of the epic.

d) Society. This works especially well if your hero and heroine are from two different backgrounds, in terms of either class, upbringing, or nationality. In this scenario, society, who can be personified as a domineering parent or other figure of authority, will try everything to keep the male and female lead apart.

e) Extra points if any of the above parties are a rival clan of vampires.

6. The sex scene

This is what everyone is really after, so you should be putting most of your energy into this part. Typically, the hero and heroine have sex for the first time somewhere in the middle of the book, after they’ve realized their burning passion for one another, but prior to the resolution of the conflict. As stated earlier, the heroine is typically a virgin, while the hero is typically not. Despite her sexual inexperience, however, the heroine is still somehow the best lay he’s had in years. The actual sex should be written in the most uncomfortable combination of the explicitly pornographic and the flowery euphemism that you can stomach. Parts of the female anatomy, for example, should be described in floral terms, but be sure to work in something about “folds.” Remember—the heroine’s breasts should levitate unnaturally, even if your story takes place before augmentation procedures, and the hero should have a terribly impressive penis.  The sex itself can be derived from most porno, and we can see here a shift from the female fantasy to the male, namely in that the heroine experiences a mind-blowing orgasm after what seems to be about three minutes of sex. For maximum effect, be sure to include the following vocabulary and phrasing: smoldering, throbbing, puckered, quivering, man/womanhood, maiden, maiden barrier, waves of pleasure, heaving, swollen, member, ecstasy. The more of these kinds of words you pack in, the better the sex.

7. Resolution.

Romance novels end in an upbeat fashion, and the protagonists always get what they want. Here are a few examples of a good ways to wrap up your story:

a) The hero’s true (rich) identity is revealed, and the heroine, who has come to love his fairmindedness and sense of adventure, marries him and enjoys his vast stores of money and/or property.

b) The feud between rugged highland clans is settled, and the hero and heroine get married and carry on their clan’s tradition while enjoying the vast stores of money and/or property.

c) The other man/other woman to whom the heroine/hero is betrothed is neatly dispatched, say, by going to prison for his unlawful dealings or realizing the error of her promiscuity and joining a convent, leaving the hero and heroine free to get married and enjoy the vast stores of money and/or property.

d) The civil unrest is resolved or diverted or the natural disaster ends, and the hero and heroine get married and use their vast stores of money and/or property to build a new manse in the style of the one that burned down.

e) Society learns not to look down upon the noble-hearted milkmaid, and she is allowed to marry the nobleman and enjoy his vast stores of money and/or property.

f) The heroine becomes a vampire, too.

g) A cliffhanger. Plan a sequel.

So hopefully this guide will help you on your way to becoming a hugely successful writer of the romance genre. And don’t stop at just one. With these easy steps, you can crank out an endless stream of saccharine drivel for years to come. All you need now is some steamy cover art, and you’re all set!

Source: blog

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Saturday, December 25th, 2010


You know what that means – lots of yummy food, good friends, crazy family, and all the jolly happy goodness that comes when people give each other something special – even if it’s just a kiss.

We’d like to take a moment to send a heart-felt thanks to all our customers, friends, supporters, trading partners and professionals that have helped us have our best year ever.

We hope your day is brilliant and fun and we can’t wait to see you after the holidays.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

One More Sleep!

Friday, December 24th, 2010

The stockings are hung, the presents are wrapped, and a jolly man in a red suit who somehow defies the laws of physics to bring us stuff is on his way. We get very excited about the holidays here at MaXXX. It’s lovely that people are thinking about they’re special someone and treating them to a holiday surprise that’s both personal and sensual. After all, it’s all about the love right?

FYI – We’ll be open all day until 5pm for those last minute gifts and stocking stuffers and we’ll have plenty of staff to help if you’re not sure what to get.

Fun: Dickileaks – The Wikileaks Condom

Thursday, December 23rd, 2010

Since the Wikileaks website has gone viral, many companies have playfully tied in this popular phenomenon into their marketing campaigns.  Jumping on the bandwagon is Condomania, releasing its new branded rubbers in the DickiLeak Condoms you see here.

It joins a growing list of pop culture condoms including the Obama Condom, Sarah Palin Condom and BP Oil Spill Condom.

The prophylactic features the face of Wikileaks founder Julian Assange with the tagline, “We Leak More Than The Truth.” Both hilarious and creepy, the DickiLeak Condoms can give you a good laugh while you get frisky in bed.

Newtown To Trade Til 10pm – 2 Nights Only

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010

Newtown precinct will be open for twilight Christmas trading again this year, with retailers open until till 10pm or later on Wednesday, December 22 and Thursday, December 23.

Visit the twilight trading stages and get stamped to receive special treats along the strip including a funky Newtown Precinct notepad, a jewellery design DVD from Etelage, Crumpler toilet roll, Newtown precinct shopping bags and free take away coffee from Cinque.

Turn Christmas shopping into a fun event and visit the Newtown precinct twilight zone.

Street entertainment will include stages along King St featuring the fabulous and fantastic Urban Dance, the Gaelic fiddles and frivolity of Get Folked and the sweet sounds of The Sparrows plus more.

Your favourite shops and retailers will have a variety of special Christmas offers.

Participating businesses include:

Etelage, Newtown Garden Market, Holy Sheet, The Flying Penguin, Maxxx Black, Blue Dog Posters, Earthkid, Ataya, Frocks & Gowns, Stellino, Joshua & Sean, Million Dollar Babe, Afghan Interiors, Bodhi Books & Gifts, iiiis Optics, Happy Herbs, King St Cycles, The Hi-Fi Trader, Therine & Teven, Classic Hi-Fi, Pure Botanicals, Mink Schmink, Terra Plana, StoneFireandWater, Glamourpuss, Lemongrass House, Faster Pussycat, RetroSpec’d Clothing, Midnight Black, Black Star Pastry, Rewind, Flight Centre Newtown, Rosebud Antiques and Skin Deep Tattoos.

For a full list of participating stores and special Twilight Trading offers find us on facebook:
Twilight Trading 2010.

While you’re there, why not take advantage of the many fantastic pubs, cafes and restaurants for a bite to eat or a bevvie along the way.

MaXXX Black is taking part with a free gift offer from Leg Avenue. Check out the details HERE!

Jacqueline Hellyer: Women Are Not Naturally Monogomous

Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010

Following on from the last blog post, where I debunked the myth that men are naturally promiscuous due to their need to spread their seed far and wide, I’d now like to examine the widely held myth that women are not naturally promiscuous. (I suppose because prehistorically we were so busy looking after those babies that those men randomly left behind as they wandered around spreading their seed – a recipe for reproductive success? Not!)

Now let’s look at a few biological facts here:

– women are able to have sex at any time
– women are more sexually responsive than men (more orgasms both in quantity, variety and quality).
– women can last sexually far longer than men
– women lose interest in sex more easily than men
– women generally need evidence of positive male interest and attention to want to have sex
– women have a less physical ‘urge’ for sex, rather a more contextual interest in sex
– women’s interest in sex sparks up with a new sex/love interest

These are biological facts. They do nothing to imply that women are less sexual than men. In fact they imply that women could well be more sexual than men. These facts do not imply that women are naturally monogamous, in fact they could be interpreted as showing that women need more than one man to be sexually satisfied.

Now, let’s look at some historical facts:

– for the past couple of thousand years or so girls in the west have been raised to think that they’re not sexual and shouldn’t be sexual
– girls and women who were overtly sexual have been discriminated against, burnt at the stake, cast out from society, forced to wear shaming badges, excommunicated, locked up in mental institutions – need I go on?
– Until the last few decades, women have been dependent on men for their economic security, without a man it has been very difficult for a woman to survive
– Women were considered the possessions of men, first owned by their fathers, and that ownership passed to their husbands at marriage. Women were therefore required to obey and serve first their fathers and then their husbands, otherwise they’d have no-one to support them.

Would any of these facts have allowed women to freely express their true sexual selves? Clearly, no.

So don’t confuse biological fact, with historically based social norms. Women have not been allowed to be sexually expressively, particularly not sexually promiscuous. That doesn’t mean it’s not innate. The biological facts would imply otherwise.

I’m not saying women should be promiscuous, or even that it’s natural for women to be promiscuous. I’m simply saying that there is no evidence to show that women naturally are naturally monogamous.

NEWS: Study Proves Lube Makes Sex Better!

Tuesday, December 21st, 2010

A lot of people keep a tube or two of lubricant in their dresser and only use it for certain acts or when the oven isn’t quite preheated (so to speak.)

But we at Maxxx have always believed that a good quality lube should always be an essential part of play time. That’s why we weren’t at all surprised when a study from Indiana University revealed that “the use of lubricants in our study (of 2,453 women) was associated with higher ratings of sexual pleasure and satisfaction and low rates of genital symptoms.”

The study trialled different types of water and silicone based lubricant to come to this conclusion, though researchers found fewer genital symptoms and pain when used specifically with a water based lubricant.

“”These findings help us to reinforce to sexually active individuals that not only are lubricants important to safer sex but that they also contribute to the overall quality of one’s sexual experiences,” says Debby Herbenick, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion.

Here are some of the findings:

  • More than 70 percent of the time that lubricant was used for vaginal or anal intercourse, study participants indicated that they did so in order to make sex more pleasurable; more than 60 percent of women indicated this was the case during masturbation.
  • More than one third of the time that lubricant was used for vaginal sex, anal sex or masturbation, women indicated that they used lubricant because it was fun to do so.
  • Sizable proportions of women also indicated that they chose to use lubricant in order to reduce the risk of tearing, particularly for anal intercourse.”

So when it comes to lubricant we should all be having a slice of the fun (why miss out because you think you “don’t need it?”)

At Maxxx we stock all different kinds of lubricants, from completely organic and glycerine and paraben free varities (that won’t irritate or alter the female PH), to luxuriously silky and long lasting silicone lubricants.

So why not add a little bit of extra fun to your play time? You’ll be taking care of your sensuality and personal health.

(There are dozens of great lubricants to suit almost everyone – Click Here to see our range)


Fun: 3 Presents You Won’t Find In Myer

Monday, December 20th, 2010

Now, we don’t sell what’s featured below but in the spirit of the season we thought we’d share some of the more light-hearted and dare we say it, sexy christmas gifts out there.

The first is a range of Christmas Stockings for the lady (or gent) who loves their footwear.

Any fashionista will appreciate these updated versions of traditional stockings. Made from denim, fur, velvets, felts, and yes even leather – these high-heels come complete with white trim for the festive season. Priced from $20 at

The Naughty Towel.

Ok so towels aren’t normally the most exciting present under the tree but Sexy Towels has made that a thing of the past. The two towels above feature a print that from behind suggests that various sexual acts are being performed on the wearer. Just don’t leave them in the guest bathroom.

Kama Sutra Gingerbread Cookies

Cookies, and in particular gingerbread, have always been a staple of the holidays. But what if your cookies could be as naughty as they are tasty? Well, a french company is now making Kama Sutra Cookie Cutters so you can bake for you (and not the kids). Gender neutral you can decorate them to reflect any lifestyle. Make em really rude, or just a little cheeky – it’s up to you. Of course if you need some serious help with your sexual positions you might want to consult “The Cookie Sutra” by Edward Jaye – 60 pages of gingerbread men doing nasty stuff to each other. In the name of sensuality of course.

Merry Christmas Everybody!