FaceTime, the video calling feature of the just-realeased iPhone is taking off in a big way. The crystal clear screen, huge image size, and seemless video/audio streaming makes the experience far more personal, sensual and ‘real’.
The first thing that strikes you about FaceTime is that the image quality is incredible. Instead of some blurred-out cluster of pixels, your partner looks touchably real. You can see small movements and subtle expressions quickly flitting across faces. The second thing that subtly blows your mind is actually something you don’t notice: Because the screen and camera are essentially in the same place, you end up looking at your partner directly, skipping that weird sensation that you’re both staring at some point off in the distance. This leads to gazing, to intimacy, to locked eyes searching for glimmers of love, sadness, hurt or mischievous excitement. And we all know where that leads: It’s a direct flight to Gettin’ Busytown.
That’s when you start to realise another previously unrevealed truth: Size matters.
Ever bring a laptop to bed? It’s weird. It’s bulky. It dictates where you can move, and only your mood (or bed buddy) should have that privilege. But taking a phone under the covers feels normal. Not only is it considerably easier to manoeuvre, it’s wonderfully familiar, evoking many of our first memories of love. You remember whispering quietly under the covers while your parents were asleep. Talking about anything at all, just to keep the conversation going. Imagine if you had a camera back then…
And imagine if you could take that experience anywhere. FaceTime’s easy mobility makes that kind of spontaneity possible. If you’re looking for some chat love on a computer, you basically have to wait until you’re back at home or your hotel room. But if you’re packing an iPhone 4, you can call someone from a secret garden in San Francisco (I know one that picks up Wi-Fi) to show them a flower or a sunset. Or, if the garden’s empty, you can show them something naughtier. Nothing says wish you were here like that kind of call.
iPhone 4 Apple Inc
Ready to try it? Go ahead and sneak off to a quiet corner. But here are a few tips to consider before dialling.
Call it a FaceDate. Or FaceTime sex. But don’t get too cute with the nicknames – “FaTi Sex?” Not much of a turn on.
Gather your things
Before you begin, get everything out that you might need (vibrator, lube, an old sock), so you don’t have to move out of the frame later on.
The phone, silly! Use any standard iPhone dock that lets your phone stand, ahem, erect. Placing it on your lap could get in the way of touching or showing off the star attraction. Prop it against your nightstand or alarm clock, and you might accidentally knock it off and shatter it. And forget holding the thing; you’re gonna want to use both of your hands-unless, of course, you’re simply playing voyeur.
Light it up
You’ll need a decent source of illumination if you’re FaceTiming in the dark. Candles will do, as will a bright hallway light and an open door. Otherwise just go with regular room lighting. Just don’t open the curtains – you don’t want to be “that guy”, and passers-by don’t want in on the action either. This isn’t a square dance.
If you live alone or have adequate privacy, you probably don’t need any accessories. But if you have housemates, children or thin walls, consider using a pair of headphones or a hands-free. Neither your partner nor your neighbours want those sounds to be broadcast. Another option is to skip the geeky headgear and turn on some mood music.
Don’t touch that dial
FaceTime sex is a totally different monster from the real-life randiness, phone love and computer copulation. Sure, IM alerts and email dings
won’t bust in and interrupt you like they can when you’re on your laptop. But incoming calls can interrupt or temporarily freeze your screen. Know what you’re going into and brace yourself against call waiting and forget about taking calls – that’s a mood killer during any type of sex.
This is FaceTime sex and that’s it – well, unless you’re both watching porn at the same time, which is totally fun. Just don’t start checking email or Facebook.
Consider multiple perspectives
Try this: Fire up the FT while simultaneously keeping your laptops linked in a passionate video embrace. In addition to the handset’s front-side view, you could a rear-view cam or a revealing profile. You could see more than one body part at a time or close-ups complimented with full-body shots. Consider it your own private porn shoot.
FaceTime sex, like in-the-flesh sex, should be fun. Make it whatever you want it to be. Dress up, play, laugh, say sexy things. Get close to your phones and look into each other’s eyes. Get ultra close so you have the fish eye effect and laugh about it. Put your genitals close to the phone and be silly (or awesome). FaceTime sex is whatever you make of it. So make it good.
Debby Herbenick, PhD, MPH is a research scientist at Indiana University, a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute and author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction. She blogs at MySexProfessor.com.